Dear PNM,
Your jaw is probably aching and your feet most definitely hurt from standing. You've probably never smiled more in your life and are getting sick of the sound of your own voice. You might even be second guessing why you're putting yourself through this "girl flirting" torture. For what it's worth, I hope you know it's worth it. Whether you find your home or you decide Greek life isn't for you, the experience is invaluable. At no other point in your life will so many groups of people be so interested in your life and want to impress you. Believe it or not, recruitment is all about you and you get to decide how to feel when it is all said and done.
First off, the thought that you have to prove yourself and be a different person to feel accepted is a major sign you're not in the right place. Recruitment isn't about proving that you can be cool or fun or the master at small talk. No matter how redundant this sounds, be your most authentic self. Pretending to be a different person is exhausting and a sure way to be unhappy. You are amazing and should be proud of yourself. I know you'll want to compare yourself to everyone else, but that only messes with your head. So stand tall and flaunt your own personality.
Getting dropped by a sorority happens. You're not the only one and I won't pretend it doesn't suck. You'll ask yourself why they don't love your personality when you thought you had a great conversation. Everything happens for a reason, and this is just one moment in your life. While it may feel like the end of the world, you have so much to look forward to. It's easy to only focus on the people who say their sorority sisters are their whole lives and they can't imagine college without them, but that's their life, not yours. Every college experience is different, so don't try to make your four years fit this idea of what college is supposed to be. Being in a sorority is great, but being yourself is even better.
College is only four years. Don't let one setback define the rest of your time. In life, you'll run into so many barriers and I can promise it'll be harder than being rejected by a sorority. For what it's worth, I hope you know I think you're great, even if there are other girls who can't see it. You're beautiful and will find your place, even if it's not in Greek life. You can be whoever you want to be, so choose who that is and be proud of yourself. If this doesn't work out for you, something else will, I promise.
If you find your home in Greek life, I'm so happy for you. It's an amazing experience that can truly bring out your best qualities and you'll be surrounded by tremendous women. If you don't find your home in Greek life, I'm proud of you. You put yourself out there and that's something you should never be ashamed of. I can't wait to see what you do with your college career because the best is yet to come. Just know that I genuinely care about you and am here to listen, even after recruitment ends.
So to the girls who end up being my sister, I'm ecstatic. To the girls who join another Greek organization, I'm thrilled. And to the girls who don't join a sorority, I respect you. Every woman is admirable, no matter the letters.
"I hope you know you're capable, and brave, and significant, even when it feels like you're not."
Much love,
Your Rho Gam
