Dear Mr. Turner,
You don't know me, we live thousands of miles apart. I didn't go to Stanford, but I feel like I know your son. He's educated, he's talented at what he does and he comes from a good home. He's got "good boy" looks, a charming smile and he probably makes you proud. But I know the real him. I know the mean streak in him, the side where he takes advantage because he's never heard the word "no". I was raped. Twice. Once by a boy who's just like Brock. And again at a party, while I was blacked out by a boy I didn't know for more than a few minutes. I can connect with the women your son raped because I've been where she's been and I've had people say the same things that you've said about my rapists. My rapists don't know they are rapists because people like you told them it was okay to touch my body when I took back consent or was too drunk to give it. I'm writing to tell you that rape is not "20 minutes of action" I'm telling you what rape does to a survivors life is far worse than what it does to the attackers life.
The first boy who raped me was just like Brock, white, wealthy, came from a good home and was a firefighter in his town. According to the statements you made it was okay for him to take advantage of me because I let him in my house and bedroom willingly. I agreed to have sex with him, but when I changed my mind he did not stop. I begged and begged and begged. He still did not stop. Am I not allowed to withdraw my consent, Mr. Turner? Am I supposed to keep going even though it hurt, even though I grew to become scared because the look in his eyes showed evil?
He came from a background that you would consider to be upstanding, do you think the fact that he was a firefighter lessens what he did to me? Or do you think my actions make you think I was asking for it? I didn't ask to have depression, anxiety or PTSD. All I asked for was for him to stop.
Like the women your son raped, I was also raped while drunkenly blacked out. I don't remember much of that night but I can vividly remember him undressing me in the backseat of my car. I was too drunk to move my body and I can remember trying to slur out a "no". I remember crystal clear the sounds of my screams. Blood curdling, loud, my only plea for help. That night I did not need to verbalize the word "no", my state of consciousness should've been enough for him to know that he shouldn't be doing what he was doing. My state of being too drunk to even move was a clear indication that I was not able to give my consent and legally that is considered rape. But according to police, it wasn't enough. They couldn't be bothered with prosecuting this because I couldn't remember how I got to the car or when he left. The only holes in my story. But the fact that I clearly remembered him undressing and entering me without consent didn't matter to them. I had people who I thought were my friends tell me I was lying, that I was ruining someone's life, accusing me of going into the car willingly. They left me half-dressed, scared and crying alone in the backseat until my best friend came and picked me up.
You blamed the rape on what she had consumed. But you see, Mr. Turner, alcohol does not cause rapes. Drinking heavily may be considered a risky behavior but it still does not hold the victim accountable for their rapist's actions. No one should expect to be raped overtime they go out and have a few drinks. Your son and the boy I met at the party are the same. They are both rapists. And they both did not receive the punishment they deserve. Your son blamed his actions on the party culture, but I know plenty of men who have gone to parties and do not harass or rape women. I know men who have done drugs and did not rape women. So your son is the only one to blame for his actions. He was clearly taught how not to be a man.
