Dear Stranger,

I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I don’t know your story and I don’t know what you’ve been through. But I do know, that you don’t deserve this and I commend you for your perseverance, and I want you you to know that it does get better.

It starts off the same way every time, girl meets boy, shit gets real and they eventually fall for each other. You start to live your life factoring him into your decisions, because you now have a relationship to maintain. Days go by and you’re happy, you are so happy that everything seems brighter and for once you feel like you feel so lucky that you have something that would be so awful to lose. Your favorite songs sound better, you smile wider and you don’t want each day to end. I can’t explain how you sometimes find yourself in a pair of brown eyes in a Ralph Lauren button down shirt at a frat party, but it happens.

But then reality sets in, and everything starts to lose its glow. The years you spent together suddenly seem longer than they were, and the good memories make you cry instead of smile. You start to wake up with anger instead of the optimism you once faced each day with. Whether it be with mutual understanding or a vicious fight, you part ways. You say your hardest goodbye and you prepare to face the world, alone.

But I want you to know it’s okay to be alone, and most likely you’re not alone. There will be nights you get too drunk, see him at a bar and burst into tears. There will be days when you hear “your song” and feel like you can’t make it through the day. Every little thing will make you want to text him, but you’ll realize this isn’t the same person that you fell in love with and sometimes space is necessary. The thing about relationships is that you grow with the person, little parts of them become a part of you and your lives are intermingled. Having to pick up the pieces and re-learn to live on your own is the hardest part but you CAN do it if you make the effort.

The most important advice I have for you is to remember you are the key to your own happiness, and you’re the only person who can help yourself. This will get you by and slowly help you learn to live your life without him. This is so important and will be the driving point to get you through this.

So next time you feel incomplete, next time you feel like you need someone, remember who is picking yourself off the bathroom floor when you hit your breaking point. Remember who is getting yourself out of bed every morning and facing the day no matter how broken you feel. You are stronger than you think. Go out into the world and find yourself. Spend your mornings laughing with your girl friends over the crazy things that happened the night before. Go to gym, feed yourself good food, you can’t forget how to take care of yourself. Smile at strangers and watch sunrises. Life is so short, and the sooner you realize not to let this set you back, you’ll heal.

But most of all don’t regret your relationship. Love is something that should never be half-assed, and heartbreak is a sign you did it right. Most likely, he is hurting too and although you’re no longer in it together, you’re on the same journey to healing no matter whose fault it was. Don’t listen to cliche advice, no you don’t always have to get under someone to get over something, and you probably subtweet mean things about him every day. This is your time to get yourself through this, this is your chance to find yourself again. I promise, you will be so loved again someday, and you will be in a better place when the time comes. Just know, it’s time to dig yourself out of your heartbreak and conquer the world, even if it’s alone. You can do this. I’m rooting for you.

Love,

Someone who is always on your team.