It's not your fault. You did everything you could. You didn't fall short of doing your job. Nothing you could have done could have made it work. It just wasn't right, it literally wasn't you, it was them. To be completely honest, no one was at fault. We've all experienced this. We've either been on one side or the other, or even both sides.
A new relationship is always exciting for both sides. Anything new is exciting! A new car. A brand new outfit. A new song on the radio. It's called the cupcake phase. As soon as the cupcake phase is over is when people realize whether the feeling was real and lasting, or the feeling was something that was once beautiful and as time passed has lost its beauty. This always leaves a devastating ending for the person who's feelings were true. Nobody wants to wake up one ordinary day and have their lover turn to them and say, " I've fallen out of love with you." That's everyone nightmare. It leaves you in fear to get into another relationship because we're afraid that we won't be enough. It leaves us pondering what we failed at or what we could have done better. After experiencing that, we often blame the other person for hurting us, or blame ourselves for not being enough. But the reality is no one is at fault. You can't control who you love, or who you don't love. They're all natural feelings.
I've been on both sides of it. I've been the one who's been left after the feeling fading. I've been the one who felt what it is to lose feelings. Being in the shoes of the person who gets broken-hearted by being left, I used to hate the other person. I'd call them a liar, or a player, and I'd hate myself. But after experiencing being on the other side of it all I can say for the most part is that people don't go into relationships with the intention of deliberately hurting the other person. It just happens sometimes. We all go into love with a pure, naive heart, but after experience, our mindset changes.
I once dated a boy with the softest heart. He kept me as
his top priority, and would do anything just to see me happy. He was one of the
good guys we tend to wish for. In the beginning, I felt like was on cloud 9 with him. As time passed the feeling began to fade, and I was in denial of it. I did everything I could to try to keep the feeling alive because nobody wants to hurt a good person. I just
didn’t love him, I knew it wouldn’t work out for the long run so I had to let him go. I never wanted to deliberately hurt him, he just deserved someone who
would move mountains for him, and I couldn’t be that for him as much as I
wanted to.
We can't blame ourselves for not loving someone, and we can't blame someone for not loving us. If it's right and meant to be, it'll be so effortless loving them. You cannot force love. In the same way, when we fall for somebody we never wanted to fall in love with. You love who you love. So don't blame yourself. Don't blame the other person. Don't settle for someone who doesn't make you feel lucky to be alive. Have faith in love. Your time will come when you least expect it. Love is such a miraculous thing. You just have to trust it even when it doesn't seem promising.
