Hello, pretty girl. You may not know me, but I know you. You're heartbroken and scared. You cry yourself to sleep every night. You don't really have many true friends, and you feel like everyone hates you right now. You feel isolated, as if it's you against the world. And you're afraid to ask for help.
I know that you hate yourself. You constantly wish you had a different life. The girl who was supposed to be your best friend turned out to be a bitch. She never even really cared about you in the first place; she only ever cared about herself. I know that you're being cyber-bullied, and no one understands it. Everyone says "just turn off the computer" or "just ignore it." But it's real to you, and it never ends. Ever.
I know that you just want to be loved. You want to feel loved. But right now, you feel as if no one will ever be able to love you. Not even your parents. You think you're a failure.
I'm asking you to pick your head up. I know how hard that is. I feel the weight of your heart every day. But try. I'm asking you to ask for help. No matter how afraid you are of admitting you need help or asking for it, the sooner you find help, the sooner you will feel better.
I'm begging you to find new friends, ones that will love and support you through any trials you go through in life. Find friends who build you up, instead of that one who constantly tore you down. Find people you can depend on to be there for you, no matter what. Find those people and cherish them. Hold onto them forever.
You are so strong. Your parents want to help you so badly, so please let them. They are worried sick about you. Your mom asks you to go with her everywhere because she is scared to leave you home alone. Your dad loses sleep at night because he doesn't know how to help you. Go to them. Let them help you. Let them love you.
And you are absolutely not a failure.
You are extremely intelligent and kind. You have a heart full of compassion and love that you want to share with the world. And on top of that, you're beautiful, even if you don't think so yet. You are an absolute work of art -- a masterpiece.
I know you think everything would be easier if you were dead. You wouldn't have to deal with so many things, like toxic friends and people treating you like a doormat and being cyber-bullied. But look at where you will be in 2017.
You will be living at home with your family, helping your sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law with their wedding plans and watching your younger brother receive college acceptance letters. You'll be bickering with Sophie -- a sound that your parents would miss if you were gone. You'll volunteer to choreograph a middle school musical that your younger sisters are in. How is that for venturing out of your comfort zone? You'll even get to watch Peter dance on a competition stage for the very first time.
By 2017, you will have made some amazing friends. You will eat too much Chipotle with Jill and attend too many concerts with Marissa. You'll have led a dance team, been an editor-in-chief on a HUGE blog, and experienced the glorious taste of college cafeteria food. You have so much to look forward to.
I'm so thankful that you pushed through those hardships. You made me the person I am today. Thank you for being so strong. You are so loved.
Love,
19-year-old Lindsay
