A Letter To Shy People: There Is Nothing Wrong with You

A Letter To Shy People: There Is Nothing Wrong with You

Embrace your shyness and all of its quirks.

Hello my fellow shy comrades,

As weird as it is, I am of course writing to you through a computer screen and not in person due to my never-ending shyness. But nonetheless, I am still here to call on all my shy people.

Growing up, being shy was a struggle. It still is to this day, but as I get older I have learned at least one thing: you have to embrace your shyness.

I am not one to start a conversation and I am sure you aren't one either. I would rather just stand there in silence, pretending to be busy on my phone or even find a friend to stand next to in order to prevent strangers from talking to me. Finding friends alone, is hard enough. People think I am either a weirdo or rude if I don't say anything to them. Unfortunately, only I know that I am neither, but they would never know because I am too shy to speak up.

Not only that, but presenting makes me anxious. Being shy doesn't necessarily mean you have social anxiety, but you may still get nervous while being in front of people you have never really talked to on a personal level. And, frankly, you still don't want to get to know them because of your shyness.

Being shy often means you choose to be alone. That is fine. Some people are better off doing things on their own. From one shy person to another, I am letting you know that it is perfectly okay to decide not to talk to people. You are by no means weird, rude, stuck up or whatever other labels have been put onto people who are shy. With that, go with the flow and don't worry about whether or not you're talking to someone. Small talk is overrated anyways, it's not like you're going to remember the conversation if a few hours, so why waste your time?

Also, you don't need a million friends. I know what you're thinking, shy people don't want or need a million friends to begin with. Having one, two or three, at maximum, is enough. Personally, if I am with a group bigger than three people, I tend to shy away and not say anything at all. I let other people do the talking. By being with a small group, you will feel better about opening up about yourself and forget all about your shyness.

Lastly, I enjoy the benefits of being shy. I don't have to worry about so many things and focus on myself. I am there for my few friends and I am especially there for myself. Sometimes I have to worry about my personal things, and often times being shy lets me focus on things independently. I tend to get a lot more done that way.

Just remember that being shy is not a problem. Don't let people say otherwise. Even if people judge you, who cares. You do you.

Cover Image Credit: Gurl

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Everyone's First Job Should Be In Customer Service

Being a hostess in a restaurant for two years has given me the opportunity to not only learn about myself but learn about other people.

I will always believe that everyone's first job should be in retail or in the food industry. I have come across way too many people who have no respect for these workers. Most of them are over worked and under paid. Some customers just have no patience and compassion for the job that the worker is trying to get done. If more people started off working in retail or in the food industry, they'll have more of an open mind when visiting these places themselves.

When working in retail or the food industry, you improve your communication skills. I used to be super shy when meeting someone new. I have also witnessed many co-workers just barely say "hi" to a customer, let alone try to have a conversation. Eventually as time goes on, conversations begin to flow and the shyness goes out the window. I used to be terrified to make phone calls and avoided it whenever possible but after working as a hostess and having making and receiving phone calls be part of my job, I became confident. Being thrown into situations really broke me out of my comfort zone which I will always appreciate.

Being a hostess in a restaurant for two years has given me the opportunity to not only learn about myself but learn about other people. I have learned about how to diffuse situations and work under pressure because when a rush hits and guests get impatient, it can be hectic.This is when my opinion about customer service being everyone's first job became solid. Some people have no patience with the workers and assume that we're not looking out for the guest's interest. While our job is to make their experience as pleasant as possible, it is unfair to us if this customer begins to not trust the worker. I have dined out with my family where we were told to wait for some time. Someone I was with began to point out the tables available but being a hostess and understanding, I realized that the workers have a plan and for us to barge in and ASSUME makes us look bad. If everyone started with this as their first job, they'll become patient, understanding, and thoughtful to situations.

Blaming the workers for something that we have no control over is also something that needs to end. There have been numerous amounts of times when a customer blames a server for not being able to modify something the way they like or when a restaurant doesn't have valet. A cashier does not deserve to be yelled at because the customer's coupons didn't go through. The rules are set up the way they are and you cannot blame the worker because they just work there. It's as if people who complain about not getting their way were always given everything on a silver platter. Life lessons get thrown at you from every direction.

If you have worked in one of these industries, you know very well that the saying "the customer is always right" is not correct. The customer is not always right. I have had customers abuse that saying and turn it into something that was very dishonest and greedy. Not everything is going to go your way and that's okay.

Working in these industries give you a look at the behind the scenes to how stores are ran. If you start off working in retail or the food industry, when you shop or dine at a certain location, you'll have an idea of why things happen the way they do and they teach you skills you'll carry with you forever.

Cover Image Credit: Work Pulse

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What Do College Students Want From Their Future?

I asked 10 college students what their hopes for their futures were, and here is what they had to say.

As a college student, especially in my senior year, I spend a lot of my time thinking about what my future may hold. Will I end up with a job in my field? Will I even enjoy working in my field of study? Or will I go down an entirely different route and end up doing something entirely unexpected? It has often seemed like everyone around me has their lives planned out, and like I may be the only one who doesn’t yet know what I want to do after college. This is surely a thought process that most college students go through over their time at school, and that made me curious to see what other people around my age had hoped for in terms of their own futures.

I asked ten college students what their hopes for their own futures are, and I received a wide variety of responses. Here are some of the responses I received.

“As a college student I hope for a future where I’m in a position or job that I truly adore so I can look back and say that my time at college wasn’t a waste. I’m also able to stand on my own two feet and be able to provide for myself and my loved ones.” –Jess Leftin

"My hope as a college student in healthcare is to one day be able to make a positive impact on at least one person I come across. At that moment I will be able to say that the debt, endless stress, and all nighters are worth it." -Ekta Patel

“To get a job I’m going to be happy with.” –Kim Hamilton

“As a college student, my hopes for the future are sort of split between short term and long term. Short term, I hope to graduate from Lesley with a MA in clinical mental health counseling program with a trauma specialization. I am in a dual degree program so it’s been a long haul nonstop. I’ve thought about taking a break after an surfing in Costa Rica or Thailand for a bit (where I have enjoyed staying in the past) but it would really depend on the job offers I get when graduating as I may want to finish up my post grad hours for licensure. My long term goals would be to be involved with an international organization that implements crisis intervention after an acute trauma ie. Natural disaster, civil conflict etc. while there is an immediate (well with this president not so much) desire for aid on a physical level the push for aid on a psychological level is not as apparent and I believe it can be crucial to someone’s well-being. Who knows where I’ll end up really? I’ll probably end up doing something that doesn’t use this degree that thousands of dollars was poured into haha… Probably won’t end up in the United States but famous last words.” –Vera Bednar

“I’d have to say succeed in my own way using the knowledge I received from college. Whether that be from in or outside the classroom. Success doesn’t mean getting a lot of money but having that sense of accomplishment and pride that makes me feel like I don’t have anything to regret.” –Abby Lynch

“What I would like for my future, and this is certainly one of the reasons I went to college in the first place, is so that I can use the things I’ve learned to make myself better at the things I want to do. I know that I want to keep going with the marine science thing, and that there are many ways that I could work on helping the environment, protecting animals, or making the interactions between humans and the ocean more productive and less destructive. Even that insight is something that I’ve developed during my time in higher education so I really hope that whatever I end up doing, I’ll be able to build on everything I’ve learned and done these past few years.” –Eric Alpert

“My hopes for the future are to secure a good, steady job. I’d like to do it in my field but it’s such a hard industry I doubt I’ll be able to.” –Ryan Sullivan

“After 4 years of leading young Naval Engineers through a variety of obstacles, I simply hope they’re ready for what comes after college. It’s easy for students to focus on academia, but the real obstacles aren’t strenuous exams or 5:30am wake up calls. The real obstacles come when we make decisions that affect other people’s lives. Whether it’s sailing through the battering waves of the North Atlantic or facing the bitter cold waves of mental anguish, each Naval Engineer I’ve trained with will need to make decisions. No matter what decision they make, I pray they will make it with the utmost confidence in themselves. Within each of them is a sense of endurance that was forged here through the toil of the past four years. I hope this endurance will help them navigate towards blissful lives and that they will serve as beacons of hope for their loved ones in the worst of storms. I can only hope that I’ve done my duty to myself and those in my charge when college ends and grand the adventure begins.” –Robert Peterson

“Honestly? I just want to have a future worth remembering. To witness something beautiful, and to live my life the way I want. Anything else is a mystery if I’m going to be honest. Happiness is the one word I would use to describe what I hope for in my future.” –Talon Stout

“Right now I’m working on graduating with a geology degree and everyone keeps asking me what the hell I’m going to do with that. But I hope that I can get into a good grad school and become a high school science teacher. Tutoring at school really opened my eyes that there are so many students in university that don’t even understand how the earth they live on works. One student of mine wasn’t even sure there were other planets out there. That’s when I just wanted to set up a classroom and start teaching everyone everything there is about our earth and solar system. And if I don’t become a teacher I hope to win the lottery or work on my farm selling Christmas trees.” –Nellie Reeves

Something that I learned from these conversations is that I am definitely not the only college student who doesn’t have my entire life planned out down to every last detail. In a world where most students leave school and start their lives with a huge amount of debt hanging over their heads, it is understandable that many of us are unsure of how our lives will play out. There are so many factors in the world that could change the course of your life at any time, and it is impossible to make a plan for every possible circumstance.

I may not know my exact plan right now, but it is definitely reassuring to know that many other people do not have a specific plan either.

Cover Image Credit: pxhere

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