To The Right Girl I Met At The Wrong Time

To The Right Girl I Met At The Wrong Time

Timing sucks but people don't.
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I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, or maybe you will. This isn’t a letter saying how much I hate you, or that you broke my heart, or that I’m madly in love with you still. This is more of a reflection of my time spent with you, sort of thank you letter.

I still remember the late-night conversations, the ones that went on while the rest of the world was asleep, never running out if things to talk about or wanting to stop despite having to wake up early the next morning. We hadn’t seen each other in so long yet we were acting like we had always been talking, all because of something I posted that I can’t even remember. Those late-night memories are still etched into my mind and they are among my favorite. It had been so long since I had just clicked with someone, no hassle or awkward phase, just simple happiness.

I still remember when we finally did see each other, I wasn’t nervous or dreading saying something stupid, I was just happy. I remember saying some stupid joke, and just watching you cringe at how bad it was, with a playful smile spreading across you lips. In that moment you looked so damn beautiful, watching the way your lips curled up into a smile, your cheeks getting red with blush, and the way your dark brown eyes crinkled while you laughed. That’s when I knew I wanted to be the one make you smile like that all the time. At that point I fell for you, and girl did I fall hard.

I know I’m not the best-looking guy out there, or the funniest, or sweetest, or smartest, and I’m sure that an amazing girl like you has a long line of better guys chasing after you. I’m not gonna say that I promise to be the best, that I’ll treat you right or take care of you better than anyone else if you choose me. All I want to say is that I’m so thankful that we could spend time together, even if only for a while.

I thought for a while that maybe we could be something more. I told you I would wait for you, and that once we both had what we set out to accomplish, I’d be there by your side. I was hoping that you would wait for me as well, I didn’t want you to be like some season passing by. I wanted to watch you glow in the summer sun, hear the crunch of leaves beneath our shoes in the fall, keep each other warm in the winter, and smell the spring air.

But life has a problem of getting in the way of things. In a few days’ your moving to the completely opposite side of the country, while I’m staying here in the furthest corner away from where you’ll be. The places in life we want to go require us to be where we are, and we both know we’re too headstrong and set on our paths to even think about changing them for something like this. You told me not to wait for you, and that you wouldn’t change your plans and I shouldn’t change mine, and that we need to do what’s best for our futures. Our plans will send us to completely opposite directions in life. As hard as tried to come up with a reason that we could work it out, I knew you were right. Despite my fear of being alone, I knew that it would be selfish of me to try and hold onto what we had, and I had to be fair to you and your dreams. Guess you could say right place, wrong time.

The greatest thing about this is that we don’t know what the future will hold. Maybe down the road in a few years, we’ll be in the same city or some other happenstance, and we’ll be able to catch up like old times. Or maybe we’ll talk to each other because of some random thing I post, and I’ll see that notification in the corner and get butterflies in my stomach, just like the first time.

I fell for you at the wrong time, but that short amount of time is something I’ll never regret. You helped me find what I want out of life, and for that I can’t thank you enough. Maybe when the right time comes around, I’ll be ready for it.

Votre sincèrement,

Jonah

Cover Image Credit: Jonah Pratt

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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