The best way for me to start this out is by saying thank you. Thank you to the people that didn't think I could do it, or the ones that just never thought I would. Thank you for not having the confidence in me that I deserved. Most importantly, thank you for never motivating me to do great things.
I say thank you, because you have taught me what it means to do things for myself. In not believing in me or my abilities, ambitions, or goals, you have shown me how to depend solely on myself for what I need. That is a skill that, to me at least, is invaluable. From your lack of belief, I have learned how to motivate myself and have the confidence that I actually deserve, not just what you thought was adequate.
Without you being there as some type of influencer in my life, I definitely would not be where I am today. I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious as I’ve become, and to think it’s the result of someone not believing in me. This lack of confidence was compensated for with my own confidence however, and has pushed me towards setting higher goals for myself, and I will always be grateful to you for that. This is not the only thing that you’ve indirectly taught me though. Without you, I would never have learned the capacity of my own abilities. There’s always been something or someone who is better, and there always will be. I know that, but you never failed to remind me of that any time I had an ounce of pride for one of my accomplishments. It wasn’t just a simple reminder here or there either. No, instead it was a picture of someone else’s accomplishments shoved in my face. It was the phrase “You need to try harder” or “You could do better than this” regardless of how great my achievement was. The realization that there will always be someone better than you never really leaves your mind, either. So because you made it a point to degrade me and what I could do, it has inadvertently pushed me to do better, always. Sometimes, this is something that makes my life better. Overall it makes my life better, really. Except sometimes, that thought creeps in that I need to do and be better than what I am. It becomes this obsessive feeling of achieving what I can’t achieve, because I’m only human. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. For putting this never-ending thought process of “Do better, be better” in my brain, where I don’t see it leaving any time soon. For the most part, it does me more good than anything. At first glance it may not seem that way, but it has pushed me to do greater things than I previously would have thought possible.
Within motivating myself, and teaching myself how to do better things, I’ve learned a few other things as well. I’ve learned how to appreciate the people in my life that do motivate me. I’ve learned from past mistakes to not put too much faith into the wrong people, which has helped me find the right people. So when I say thank you, for everything you’ve done in my life, I mean it.
