A Letter to My Future Daughter

My sweet-pea,

I may not have met you yet, but if God one day graces me with a daughter, I hope you get everything you want in this world. I will get to care for you over the first 18 years of your life. It won't be easy, we will get in arguments, you may dislike me at times but I promise to love you endlessly. I will know you better than anyone on this earth and we will be more alike than you will think growing up. It took me too long to find out how great of friends my mom (your grandma) could be. Don’t get caught up in your teenage years disliking your parents for being overbearing, we do this to protect you, just as my mom did for me. Moms and sisters are God's gifts of a best friend. Use it, call me often, tell me everything and know that I will never judge you for the person you are. I promise to take life with you, head on.

In high school, you’ll start dating boys (no sooner please). You may get your heart broken, likely more than once before you find your soul mate. You’ll be okay. I am confident that I would not have gotten through my first heartbreak if it wasn’t for my mom sitting on the edge of my bed rubbing my back, getting me a life sized teddy bear to cuddle with or forcing me to get out to bed to stop crying. I will do the same for you and trust me, you will one day be thankful, and you will understand that it hurts me as much as it hurts you. I will spend the first 18 years of your life teaching you how to be love yourself, building your self-esteem and stopping at nothing to insure your happiness. You are beautiful, inside and out, you don’t need a boy to figure that out. You were not created to be beautiful for other people, you are beautiful for yourself. Never let a boy define what you think of yourself, if he can’t see what I see, he isn’t worth it. I know I am old now, but I was there once, I had boyfriends and I have learned that moms give the best advice. Sometimes it might be, "Just call him,’ other times, "Tell him to f off, you deserve better." 

Your happiness needs to come before all else. Selfish, yes, but if you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect to love others. On that note, be kind to everyone. Life does not come at you in a little package with a bow on top of it, it comes crashing in saying, "I am here, get ready." It has a way of kicking you on your ass when you're at your worst, but it also will pick you back up eventually. Be the person to soften the blow and pick people back up; kindness is such an admired trait and you do not realize yet how important it is to live a happy life. That does not mean that you should let people push you around, however. Stand up for yourself, don’t be afraid to say no, just do it with a smile on your face. 

When you go off to college, the best part of your life is just beginning. I will miss you, I will bug you to call me, I will come visit some weekends (do not try to convince me that you don’t drink during this time, I know you do). I want you to know that while college is important to get an education, it is also a time to find yourself. It is okay to make mistakes, it means you are learning. It might seem impossible at times. You’ll miss home – even if you don’t admit it – but you can get through it and I believe in you.

Whatever you choose to do in life, I will love you. Whether you go to law school, or you major in art history, regardless of if you love boys or girls, if you end up in The White House or in jail, I promise to love you. 

If you ever feel like this world is too much to handle, if you want to give up, if you think that this life isn’t suited for you, call me; I’ll be there, because life is a lot less scary when you have your mom by your side.