Alright Millennials, it's time we be completely open and honest with each other. We're falling on our faces big time. Progressively, as whole, we are going in the wrong direction. Millennials are supposed to be a huge deal, just like the Baby Boomers. We're the generation making changes day in and day out; the progressive generation revealing the indecencies our world has grown comfortable with. What's going on here? I'm thankful that the accusations that 11,000 of us voted for Harambe in this year's election aren't true, even though some of you did and you're proud of it. Shame on you.
The world is looking to us, expecting greater things. Older generations are hoping that they can leave their world to rest peacefully in our hands, and we're not exactly owning up to the task. I'm proud of what we have done thus far though; peaceful rallies for Black Lives Matter, same sex marriage is sweeping our nation because we supported it, and we're inventing faster means of communication. You're welcome for Facebook everyone, that was a gift from a Millennial. Change is like wildfire, and we blew on the flame started by our predecessors.
I need a second to chat with Millennial women because I'm worried about some of us aren't receiving the guidance we deserve. Ladies, the wage gap is at an all-time low. The birthing age rose from 24 to 26 in 2014, and most of us are chasing adventure over chasing white picket fences and husbands. Congratulations my dears on making America recognize the importance of Girl Power. We are a generation that stands for something and falls for little.
It is our genetics that concerns me: The omnipresent desire to find love, to have a family, and to define ourselves based on the well-being of that family. While we are closing wage gaps and setting up the future of women to be something spectacular, there are still a great many of us that search for our relevance in Likes on Facebook and Instagram, the number of Snapchat friends we have, and how fast we can get a guy to say "I love you." Newsflash ladies: Just because he says "I love you," doesn't mean he means it. More than ever right now, the phrase has lost its meaning in our generation. We throw the words around left and right, faster than my softball coach could nail a ball over my head in center field.
Your worth does not depend on how many guys comment on your selfie. What matters is the validation you provide yourself because, at the end of the day, you have to be alright with the decisions you've made and you have to go to sleep at night remembering what you've done. Do not ever get down on your knees and beg someone to want you, to hold you. You can hold yourself, and if you don't like yourself very much then you have friends and family that will gladly hold you. There's an importance in strength and you will not hand over your strength to a man. He will not be the reason you go to bed upset tonight because I guarantee you he wasn't worried about you when he fell asleep so quickly.
Hold your own purse when you go out, unless you've specifically asked him to hold it for some reason. Never give him a reason to think you're incapable of handling your own. It's one thing to let him take care of you, it's another to give him control over you. Explain to me what happens if you two have an argument and you want to leave? Joke's on you then because he has all your money and your license. Always be in control over things you can control. In a healthy relationship, you will have a shared balance of power. You will both demonstrate your strengths and you will help each other grow where needed. In an unhealthy relationship, there is a domineering force and the feeling of being powerless looms over one.
Don't be that girl.
Don't be the girl that can't go out with her girlfriends because her boyfriend wouldn't like it. What's the point of friendships? Who are you going to vent to when he drives you up the wall? Him? Exactly. Don't be the girl that wants to leave her small town, but remains stuck because she's looking out for her guy. If he doesn't want to go anywhere, then you two need to discuss options because handing over opportunity is never the right decision if you're doing it for a relationship that remains uncertain. It's a completely different story when you've pledged your lives to each other; such as a husband and wife that decide they don't want to make the big move for a job because their kids love the school system they're in. Do you think he's going to give it a second thought if the opportunity arises? No, and if you two are meant to be then he will take you with him. Take the same opportunities you know he would take if they fell into his lap.
Another thing: Stop with the jealousy over social media. If he gets his kicks off how many girls like his photo or he entertains ones that message him or snap him, then leave him. The right man will fix his problems and show you who is his number one, the wrong man will throw up the deuces and go out. There is a genuine truth to the phrase "Cheaters freak out because they know how the game is played." If he freaks out because your best friend Todd liked something on your page then he knows what may come next, or maybe you're the one freaking out because you're still playing games yourself. Grow up! To play Devil's Advocate, maybe one of you has been burned before. Maybe someone did the exact same thing to you and you thought nothing of it because what is a Facebook like anyways? There's no significance there, but then you found yourself losing a part of yourself and it all started with the like. Understandable, so that's when it's time to have the discussion of what comes next. Handle it in a mature fashion. If you find yourself arguing over nothing, then leave. One of you is not ready for the seriousness of a relationship and it's better left alone until you are ready.
Ladies, your relevance is much more than what any guy in our generation can give us. When the right one comes along, you'll know. Until then, be patient. It may seem like everyone your age is married or having children, but that doesn't mean you have to rush into the arms of the first guy that messages you on Facebook. You're above that. Make him take you on a date, make him work for it. If he doesn't have to work to get you, then he won't work to keep you.
Trust me when I say independence is sexy in a woman. Maintain your independence because that's the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard.
