You are going to be okay. You will find your way and you can do whatever you set your sights on.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? When we welcomed you into the world, my very own built-in best friend. I couldn’t wait for you to be able to talk because all I ever wanted was for you to call me Sissy. Here we are 18 years later and you still call me nothing but Sis (let’s be honest though, I don’t answer if you call me anything but.)

We had a good childhood. We had parents that loved us, grandparents who spoiled us and a bond that I thought could never be broken. You went through the phase of what I thought, at the time, was you hating me. Nothing I did was good enough, nothing I said made a damn to you, and I couldn’t do anything right. Your teenage years have literally been the death of me at times. I have spent countless hours crying over you because I thought you hated me because all I was doing, I thought, was trying to teach you right from wrong the only way I knew how.

It took me a while to learn, and I’m still learning, to step back and not “parent” you, but to just stay in my sister role. I have to be honest though, that’s extremely difficult for me because what I think is a caring sister, you think is me trying to be your mom. You tell me things like “I already have 1 mom I don’t need another.” We see things differently and I get that but I’m trying to be there for you in the best way I know how. We don’t agree on everything and we are never going to agree on everything but know, I’m always here for you, whether I agree with your actions or not.

Watching you grow up has been a blessing and a curse. You’re such a handsome young man and when you really want something you go for it. On the other hand, you have been through a lot the past couple years and you’re still trying to figure out who you are. Let me be the first to tell you, that’s OK. We all go through the “finding ourselves” phase, I just pray you don’t lose your roots in the process.

You know our values and morals and you know right from wrong. I know you have a lot going on right now but know I am always here for you. I’m supposed to be the one you can come to about anything and everything. Yes, I’m going to give you my opinion and tell you when I think you’re wrong but that’s just my part of being the older and {wiser} big sister. I want you to be able to do whatever you want in life. Would I love for you to come to Western and follow in my foot-steps, yes? But I know that’s not what you want to do and that is okay too.

I want you to know how hard it is for me to sit back and watch you do some of the things you do because it isn’t something I would do. Not gonna lie you literally make me want to ring your neck, but it’s taking me a while to realize that we are 2 very different people with very different goals and I have to stop trying to “fix you.” I can only imagine how hard it was for mom to lose her brother at such a young age and a lot of what I do is so the same thing doesn’t happen to you.

I’m sorry to be so blunt but I always a reason for saying and doing the things I do. You have the biggest heart but at times it’s like you don’t care about anyone but yourself. You’re so freaking hard headed and it drives me insane. You have a whole clan of people who love and support you and who only want the best for you and it seems like sometimes you forget that. You don’t have to take on the world by yourself. I especially, am here to help.

I want to take the time to apologize for anything and everything I have ever done that you didn’t like, made you mad and pissed you off. Sometimes I act before I think and I’m working on that. I just want you to know that I love you and I am proud of you!!!! No matter what, I will always be your Big Sister, after all, you are stuck with me forever. I love you to the moon and back Bubby.

Love, Sis