To my Inner Fat Kid,

I've been meaning to have this talk with you for a while. I think it's fair to say that by now we both recognize this love-hate relationship we have going on. It'd probably be best to just talk these feelings out and let you see where our future together is going.

There are definitely things I love about you. You've introduced me to some of the most delicious food I've ever had. I'll never forget those moments. You've also helped me bond with my friends and roommates by urging me to go on late night Taco Bell runs or starting a weekly doughnut/coffee routine. You've shown me how to be creative by cooking a delicious meal when I only have three things in my fridge. You've also given me some shape over the years, so I no longer look like that awkward 12 year old girl.

Here's the thing though. I may not look like a stick or have a body as flat as a board anymore, but there are some places where we've added a little too much. And that's causing some problems for me. Every time I tell you that I need my space, you get even more clingy; whispering to me that Ben and Jerry's is at the grocery store down the street or that my favorite pizza place is running a special. You make me feel horrible for not doing what you want, getting all sad and grumpy when I tell you no. Like what is that about, dude?

Listen, I don't want you out of my life. We have great times together and I always enjoy it. What I don't enjoy is being pregnant with twin food babies afterward. You just have to give me some space, okay? I can't always hang out with you or go along with all your ideas. I love you, but you have to chill out for awhile. Don't think of this as the end, think of it as a new beginning for us.

Sincerely,

Your friend who's just trying to make her jeans less snug