Dear 14 Wayne Rd,

You were my older and wiser friend, my teacher, and my constant companion. You were a beautiful, unforgettable home that was made just for my family. Well, you weren't technically built for us since someone owned you beforehand, but you were ours nonetheless. I drew on you, yelled at you, and kicked you all over. I usually felt like I hated you, but I always loved you somewhere deep in my heart. I was often so relieved and grateful to come back to you. I cherish the sacred space that you made and held for me. You are the only true home that I’ve lived in as an adult. Although I no longer own you, you still own my heart.

Before I left you, I spent hours rummaging through your closets and cabinets, sorting and saving all of the tangible things that represented moments in my life. There were days when I didn’t feel too sad and when I thought that I was ready to let go, but then a memory would draw me back into you, reminding me of how you always found a way to make me feel like everything was going to be OK. You watched my brothers and I grow up and become the people who we are today. You looked on as I learned how to a ride bike, witnessing that fall that I should have definitely gotten stitches for. You watched us create games in the spacious yard and climb into the tiny basement window when we forgot our keys. I often wonder if the new owners know that Bonnie, my childhood dog, is buried under the old strawberry patch along with my hamster, Buttons.

You were a battleground for when Matt and Andrew fought and a creative space for my dream career as a writer back in high school. How could I forget working on those projects for Latin class in the dining room? Who would have thought that a bridge built strictly out of straws could hold three bricks? You were my shoulder to cry on as I watched my brothers move out one by one. Within your walls are so many moments that changed my life. I fell in and out of love with more songs, people, and places that I hadn’t yet been to than I can count. I read, wrote, and learned about myself. This is where I grew up. I turned into a woman within those purple walls and I’ll never forget the influence of this place. For 19 years you were a safe haven for me to cry in after a loss, whether it was due to a broken heart or the passing of someone who I loved. You have always been the ultimate safety net, the link to my childhood. You symbolize the time in my life when I was sheltered, valued, and infinite. To me, the essence of love is unconditional tolerance, acceptance, and availability. That’s what you have always been to me.

I just wanted to make sure that you knew how much I loved you, too. I want you to know how much I love that you loved all of my special people. I only wish that you got the chance to meet a few more. Thank you for giving all of us a place to connect and meet in the middle for all of those years. Thank you for holding me, growing me, and for being my most trusted and reliable friend for 19 years. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of home.

I don’t know if I’ll ever walk through your doors again. I would like to say that I will, but life is unpredictable and promises are hard to keep. Even if I don’t make it back, I’ll keep you in my heart. I’ll remember my best moments, my worst ones, the times that defined me, and the times that taught me all of the things that I believe in. I’ll keep growing, House. I’ll keep learning, living, and loving.

I will love you forever.