To my grandparents who have passed away, to friends that I've lost, and to old pets who are now gone: my life has changed in so many ways since the last time we talked face to face. Oh, if only y'all could see me now. If only you were here to see who I've become and the life I am living.
I'm doing good, I'm doing fine, but I still miss you every day. Life is different now. It seems almost heavier now that y'all are gone. You would think that I'd be used to this type of thing by now--death--because I've seen it so many times throughout my life. But it never gets easier.
I remember the last time I saw each of you. The place, the conversation, but that only makes it worse. They were all good times and good memories, but that's all they are now and that's all they will ever be.
The worst thing about memories is what they represent: the past. They remind us of things, people and times that we may never have again. Places we have been and laughs that were shared. And while some of those memories and laughs can be relived, some can not. Some just sit and rot in your brain because there is nothing they can do. They develop a scent like an onion that makes you cry every time they surface.
There is, however, a good thing about our memories too. Before the sad comes, and before the tears form and fall, there is a part that I absolutely love. The joy. The joy of playing with you in the backyard. The joy of playing hide and go seek with you in the house. The joy of you getting to watch me graduate from high school. But the best one of all is the joy of knowing you. The joy of getting to say that you were a part of my life, even if only for a short period of time.
While the joy does help when remembering the past, the future however still brings struggle. The struggle of knowing that you will miss out on so many major events yet to come in my life. Events such as my college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my first child, and many more precious moments in between. There are so many things in life that I wish I could get the chance to share with you, but I know I never will. You all were such a huge part of my past, but I now have to move on to the future and to all the new people I will meet.
Before I sign off I would like to thank you. Thank you for all the fun times and for all the memories. I will cherish them forever and keep you all close always. I will share these memories with people I know so your memory lives on and will never die. We will meet again someday. I love you.
