Dear Future Sister-In-Law,
I know that it's a few years off because my brother is still a teenager, but I just wanted to write you this letter to let you in on a few family secrets regarding the walking headache that is my brother. He's not really a walking headache; I'm just his older sister, so I feel obligated to knock him down a few notches. It's good for him; I assure you. He's actually a really great guy, and if he is half the person he is when he grows into a man as he is now, you've got a lifetime of surprises ahead of you. You're in for the time of your life. Plus, you'll get one bombshell of a sister-in-law.
He'll be shy at first; he's always been that way. He won't talk much, and in the beginning, you'll find yourself trying to pull information out of him. He's had years and years of practice of this. After some time, he'll break out of his shell and become more comfortable with you. He won't hug you at first, and affection will be hard for him; that's because every girlfriend he's had and ever will have, I tease him about it until the end of time. Again, as his older sister, I have an obligation to uphold my position of power.
He'll always be there to listen to any problems you may have, and even though it may seem that he's not paying attention, he is. He may not be great with the advice side of things, but he'll lend his ear. His communication skills will get better with you as time goes on, and after some time, he'll start giving his input without making an unnecessary sports reference, which actually brings me to another point.
Sports are his thing. They have been since he learned to walk. Share that with him. Share your interests with him. Give a little, and take a little. He's taught me everything under the sun from basketball to hockey to curling; he's never even played curling, but the kid knows everything about it. I've taught him about music and movies. It's a nice thing to share with him. It's easy to ask him to grab a baseball and have a catch in the front yard or a friendly game of football. Share that time with him. Even if you're not the "outdoorsy" or "sporty" type, he'll make you appreciate the game, whatever game that may be.
When you're away, speaking from experience, he won't admit that he misses you, but he does. Don't second guess yourself and overthink because you may not be hearing from him every day. He's letting you do your thing. Do your thing. He misses you. He won't show it or tell you, but he does a lot. Don't worry.
There are times when he will need his space. Don't take this personally; all guys need it. Girls need that time too. It's a good thing. Let him have some time if he asks for it. He gets overwhelmed easily, but he doesn't express his emotions very well because he wants this macho-man persona. There's nothing wrong with that, but you'll be able to tell when he gets into one of his funks. Give him the time he needs. He'll come back around.
Make him laugh. If you're anything like me, that won't be a problem. The kid will laugh at anything. He'll make you laugh with no problem. It comes naturally to him. That's the reason he and I get along so well. The longer you're around him, the harder and louder you'll laugh. It'll be that really hard, embarrassing laugh that you hate having everyone hear, but don't worry; that'll just make him laugh harder, in return making you laugh even harder. With him, you'll laugh so hard until your stomach hurts, you start choking, you're crying, you can't feel your face and you're not making any noise anymore. You'll laugh that hard.
On the flip side, "Marley and Me" is the only movie that will make him cry actual sad tears. In fact, I think it's the only thing that has ever made him cry. (I'm not going to rat him out or embarrass him on this, so the only time he's ever cried was while watching this movie.) Make sure the two of you get a dog. If you need a pet-sitter, I'll be readily available.
He's the best guy in the world, and I regret that it's taken me so many years to see that. He's my brother, so we've had this bond since we were born; as we grew up, we've become absolutely inseparable. It may be a little intimidating at first, coming into our family because we're tight-knit. Once you break that barrier that may be a bit uncomfortable, you'll be an instrumental branch in the family tree.
Welcome to this dysfunctional family. I can't wait to share a lifetime of memories with my new best friend. Just a little forewarning and this may come out a little harsher than I want it to, no matter how close the two of us get, if you hurt my brother, I can assure you it will not be a fun experience for you. He's my best friend in the entire world, and he deserves no hurt. Good luck! No pressure.
Love,
The Older Sister/Your Future Bridesmaid
