Trying to explain to my friends that I am busy or I have a meeting I will be at when we are supposed to be having dinner is not easy. It’s not easy when the passive comments start to come out such as: “You’re always too busy," “This is why we don’t ask you to do anything anymore” or “Seriously? Didn’t you just get back from a meeting?” Yeah, I’ve probably pissed off a lot of my friends with the amount of times I have had to push things back or cancel because I am so busy. So, here’s an open letter to my friends and pals who feel as though I am “neglecting” their friendship:

Dear Friend,

Yes, I just got out of a meeting and yes, I have a 30 minute break before I have to go to another one. Yes, I know that you think I am crazy and yes, I know you are probably annoyed that I am so busy. While you’re off thinking that I am not making time for you, have you ever thought that I may not have enough time for just me? Have you ever thought that maybe I actually enjoy going to meetings every day and planning events? Probably not. The truth is, while I LOVE to hang out with you when I do get the chance to have some free time. I also adore doing what I am doing right now. I don’t purposely plan more meetings to not hang out with you, I prioritize what I’m doing. Everything that I am doing now allows me to grow as a student, a person and a professional.

I’m doing what I am doing because I hate just sitting in my room doing nothing, it feels weird. I’m doing what I am doing because I love to work with people and immerse myself in the Drake community. I’m doing what I am doing because I love to make new friends. We’ve only got 4 years here, I’m trying to make the most out of them. I apologize if I have ever made you feel neglected, or that our friendship isn’t important to me. I apologize for all the times I have had to push plans back or cancel, because something came up. I apologize for making you feel like I don’t have time to listen to your problems. I don’t do this stuff on purpose; life just happens. My life as a student just happens, I’m finding myself doing something new every single day. There is one thing I ask of you though, before the next time it is you decide to give off another passive comment. I ask that you provide me with support when I seem overwhelmed, understand why I enjoy the work that I am doing, ask me how I am doing every now and then and help me figure out a time when we can hang out. Help me help our friendship. I guarantee you that it would go a lot better than being passive, I promise you. Hope this helps.

Sincerely,