I have always been deeply affected by other people. A natural extrovert, I draw my energy from the energy of others. When I was a freshman in high school, two of my siblings were going through turmoil, I was getting my first sour taste of high school, and at the tender age of 14 I didn’t know how to handle any of it. Like the attentive and caring mother she is, my mom sensed the stressed energy within the household and wrote something for my brother, sister and me entitled, "A Few Things I Thought You Should Know".
This letter aided me in putting things into perspective. I no longer felt like my teenage world was being torn to bits, I found a little piece of peace thanks to my mom. Nowadays, whenever I feel overwhelmed or hurt or just plain sad, I look to the letter my mom wrote me and I feel better equipped to face the reality in front of me, with a more clear head and a wide open heart. For those of you who need it now, later, or know someone who could use a pick me up, here are some of "the things I thought you should know", as written to me by my mother.
"There is no new love. There is no new hate or sadness or loneliness. All the feelings you feel, both good and bad, have already been felt before by someone else, some other time, some other day. In fact, someone has probably already written a song about it. For me, there is comfort in knowing I am not alone. In knowing that I am human and all feelings are a part of the human experience. I try to take comfort in knowing that in this way we are not unique. Knowing that “it” isn’t just me who feels bad. It isn’t all about me. Everyone feels these feelings at some time or another. I have learned some of the ways to help me have a cheery outlook as much as possible.
1. Do not expose yourself to evil.
There is evil all around us. Steer clear from it. It's very real. You have to train yourself to do this because everybody is curious. If someone talks about some horrible thing they saw on TV it is natural to want to see what they are talking about. But, curiosity killed the cat. Looking at and watching bad things is bad for your soul. It is human nature to think about bad things. If it wasn't there wouldn't be horror movies or shows like Law and Order SVU. But,those things exist because there is a natural magnetic force that draws people to bad things. I try to fight this urge. No good can come from exposing yourself to such things. Don't listen to or read things about evils like rape or addiction. These negative thoughts enter your soul and sadden it unnecessarily, and then you start taking on the sadness of others and the sadness of the world. That is too much to bear. The soul is fragile. Build it up. Don't break it down.
2. Let music heal you.
There is something about music that makes you feel better. If there wasn't, then there wouldn't be IPods and CDs, concerts and artists, or even music class in school. The need, love, and healing power of music is universal and has existed since the beginning of time. The first instruments were simple drums and tribes would dance around the fire. Even then people knew that music makes you feel better. Listen to music and allow it to relax you, heal you, understand you and relate to you. Remember whatever you are feeling... there is a song about it already. Find that song.
3. People are social.
They just are. Sometimes that sucks because friends and family can be so disappointing, but we need each other. So go out of your way to be friendly to others and try to understand when people are letting you down that they have their own issues and problems too. You never know what another person is really going through. They usually won't tell you their deepest, darkest feelings because speaking of them makes them feel too real and hurtful. Accept people for who they are and accept them into your lives if they don't cause you harm, because people need each other for love, companionship, and support. They just do and you do, too.
4. Laugh and smile a lot.
There is absolutely nothing on Earth that will brighten your mood more than something funny. You know that's true because there are so many comedians, comedies, and just plain silly things that people have made. Why do people make so many funny movies and such? Because they know how good it is for you to block out the serious, scary parts of life for a while. And would you rather have someone smile at you than frown? Smile, of course. So Smile :)
5. Understand how the sunshine or lack of it affects you.
When the sun is shining and it's bright outside, you feel better. Sunshine represents life. Green trees, colorful flowers. Sunshine actually has Vitamin D in it and it's good for you. Realize at times that we just feel gloomy because it's gloomy outside.
6. Curse and thank God for our hormones at the same time.
Hormones are responsible for all our bodily functions. Without them, we could not be. But, sometimes they take over our bodies and make us feel paranoid, sad, irritable, and angry. Try to examine why you really feel sad or angry sometimes. If you don't have a really good reason blame it on your hormones and know that is temporary as your hormones naturally change and go through cycles. Just say to yourself, "I feel bad for no good reason. Can't wait for this to pass" and definitely don't lump all bad things together when you are feeling this way; let each thing be its own thing.
7. Accept that you are going to f*ck up and f*cked up stuff is going to happen.
As good as you've been is as bad as you'll be sometimes. It's ok. The people who love you will still love you.
8. Everything is temporary.
Life is a series of phases and everything changes eventually. So even if something feels bad now, time will change things. It always does.
9. As far as we know, you get one life.
How do you want to spend it?
10. There is something going on here in this world, though I couldn't begin to imagine or explain what it is.
I am not so special as to think I could even begin to figure it out. But, there are miracles everywhere. Signs everywhere. Helpers everywhere. Goodness all over. Look for the beauty. Look for the love. Look for the kindness. Hope for the best. That's all the religion you'll ever need.
You are so loved. May peace, hope, and strength find its way to you whenever you need it"
