I never have been in a relationship, ever and I am coming to terms with it. Many of my friends and I have never been in a relationship but did experience heartbreak in some shape or form. Society today and the media have embedded in our brains about what a "cute couple" is or that a thin guy cannot be with a larger girl (vice versa).

This article is a form of a goodbye poem and hello to a new year. It is a relief for me to finally get this article up, and I hope I help someone who is going through the same thing. Like many, we all have this ideal significant other in our head. But sometimes "crushing " on someone that would you would never expect to like happens, and they will never know.

Personally, I have struggled with actually thinking I liked someone but I liked the "idea" of liking him. In this article, I wrote a poem that I wrote back in freshman year in high school and gradually added to it as high school went on. I hope this poem helps other girls like me or guys struggling with liking someone and being completely confused.

Why do I think I like you?

My head is telling me one thing,
while my heart is beating to it's own drum.

I can't handle the feelings I have.
I have always liked you but now it's deeper.

My brain is in pieces, my heart is still at mends.
I am too scared to ask because we are such good friends.

Society thinks I am too fat to be with you. High school brats say he will never be with you because you're not good enough. The numbers on the scale say no way,
while your friends just say go for it.

How can I go for it when nothing I believe is true? I can't handle the feelings I have for you. I have always liked you but now it's deeper.

Walking through the halls you see me as a good friend. I see a division symbol in my brain. With one half of my heart and the other my brain.

I have known you for a couple of years now. Why all of sudden we've become so close? And now that your available, my heart becomes a butterfly?

Society tells me we aren't compatible because of the way I look. The horoscopes say we are a perfect match? How could this be?

Why am I listening to the voices in my head and the articles in Seventeen magazine?

I want to tell you how I feel! Scream the top of my lungs! But I can't. I just can't. Afraid of rejection and sliding down the Ben & Jerry's path.

Can we even be a match? I am a girl you're a boy. I like music, you do too? You think my rants are funny while I try to look up your favorite band. I just want you! But I can't.

I don't want to lose a friend, or a chance to open up. But we are going separating ways soon, I don't know if I will ever have the chance.

I just want to know what you think of me. Why did society engrave in my brain that we can't belong together?

Our lives together are almost over, I have not but a clue of what you think of me. My brain keeps saying shh be quite and my heart wants to burst.

But I am afraid you will say no.