Dear Friend,
Today has been the day you have been waiting for since we met. We planned something huge for this day. We always had plans for the future. We couldn’t wait to grow old together, meet once a month to complain about our spouses and kids, see how much the other has grown into a respected, successful woman. Then, it all fell apart.
Either we grew apart, or someone pushed someone away -- but it doesn’t matter. It happened. Knowing that today came and I couldn’t be there for you to celebrate hurts more than you can imagine. I have no idea what is going on in your life at this very moment. If you are safe, happy, loved -- I don’t know. I think back on all the birthday memories we have. Skipping homecoming to go to a football game, going to my favorite place, making sure everyone knew that it was your day. We threw all our worries away and we just lived. I always knew I would have fun with you by my side, but what I didn’t expect was to not always have you there.
Reaching out to you is harder than you imagine. I want to know how you are. I want to be there for you in your time of need but I don’t know how. I have changed since we last spoke. How can I not? Time goes on and people are forced to move along with it. Just because I am not that 14-year-old girl anymore doesn’t mean I don’t remember how much fun it was to be her. Running around the city with you and getting into trouble. I’m sorry for not being there, but you weren’t there either. Now we are forced to look at each other’s lives through a screen despite wanting to be there.
Sometimes, people are meant to teach you something. You taught me that I could be serious and also have fun at the same time. You taught me that nothing is what it seems and that there are people out there who fight with a smile. I hope you are done fighting. I hope you are happy and that somehow, someway we find our way back to each other and do all the things we planed.
I hope you have the happiest of days.
Much love,
Your friend
