I began college with a plan. I was going to be a Marine Biology major at the College of Charleston and, eventually, become a marine mammal veterinarian. I was going to work at a nonprofit and eventually start my own nonprofit. Then second semester of freshman year, that all changed. I realized that I did not only want to do that but I had no idea what I was actually going to end up doing. I freaked out and had a low-key mental breakdown. I thought that my life was over. Everyone was saying the usual, "It's OK, you are only a freshman. You have time." It just seemed that no matter what people would say, I would feel worse.
My sister, in her mind, has the next 10 years planned out. When I went to family for advice, it seemed like none of them had any idea what I meant and could not wrap their minds around my changing what I wanted to do. Even some of my friends were being unsupportive. They would say, "You are just stressed. You should think about this more," etc. I even went to one of my good friends with an idea and she told me that it was not for me and tore me down. She said that she thought it was too hard for me to doAfter that, I went to my mom for advice. She said that I have time because I am young. Then, my dad said something that changed my view of everything. He said: "Take this time to explore and find yourself." He told me that no matter what plan I thought I had or want to have, it will change. I used my summer to do nothing but work and discover my true self. I am no longer stressed about having to do certain things for a certain career. I have more time to do the things that I want to do. This new state of mind also gives me the openness I need to try new things. I am finding out what I do and do not like and what I do like. I'm on the road to realizing the person I want to be.
Everyone needs someone to be supportive of them as they find themselves. I am here to tell you that, if you are struggling to find yourself in college, not only is it OK but it is the best thing ever. You are young and have so much time to find yourself. Stay as young as you can for as long as you can because the real world sucks. Study abroad, take a gap year or do something just to make yourself happy. Its OK to be selfish in college because that is what we are supposed to do. It is OK not to know because there are so many people experiencing the same struggle. Join clubs, go to parties -- do whatever it takes to have the best college experience as you define it. College does not last forever (no matter how much you wish it did).
