To My Ex-Best Friend Who Left Me,
Wow. I'd never thought I'd see a new friend request from you nor would I get a Facebook message from you either. You said you're sorry and want to be friends again. I cautiously ask you how you're doing and why you want to be friends again. I'm guarded and cautious. Feelings washing over me. I watch the bubbles as you type your response.
As you type, I get to think.
I think about all the sleepovers you cancelled. I think of all the times you cussed me out. I think of all times you turned your anger on me when all I did was ask if you were okay and if I could help with anything. I think of all the times I was there for you and when I needed you to be there for me, I got angry words and finished with "Suck It Up." I think about the shut downs and put downs you gave me in front of your other friends, your eyes on me as I walk away with tears in my eyes.
When you reply I am speechless at your response. You see all my success and want to be friends again. You see me traveling and doing everything I can possible to make my dreams a reality. The one you said that I would never make a reality.
I am doing my best to calmly tell you No. It wasn't going to happen. I tell you that you can watch from afar. You can ask our mutual friends about me and how I'm doing. The way you treated me all those years ago was uncalled for, hurt bad and cut deep. You may be sorry but I don't think you learned from the past. That I wish you the best in all your future endeavors. That I hope you accomplish all your dreams and you find someone who cherishes you and loves you with all their being.
You called me selfish. You call me a couple of names. I can feel your anger through the phone. I read your demand to be friends again.
I reply that I can't. For my well-being that I couldn't do. I couldn't handle the broken promises and lies, the uncalled for spurts of anger that weren't my fault but suddenly I played an imaginary part in it. I couldn't handle the emotional abuse you hurdled at me. I had promised that after three abusive ex-boyfriends that I would walk away from every toxic relationship that would hurt me.
So I could not be friends with you. I couldn't be friends with someone who would do that to me. I wouldn't be friends with someone who wouldn't care when I'm at my lowest and need a friend, but got kicked when I am down and then laughed at. I could not be friends with someone who would openly mocked my dreams and career aspirations, but now that I am making them happen and people are taking notice you want to be friends with me.
Thanks, but no thanks. I hope you get everything you want in life, but my friendship that you thought so little of years ago won't be one of them.
Sincerely,
A Girl Who Knows her Worth and Won't Settle For Less.
