Dear Me,
You're nine years old, full of ideas, an open future, and have yet to see the bad in people. You haven't yet seen nor experienced all the ways a man can break your heart. You think the world is completely limitless, yet also seems so far away.
You've also set completely unrealistic goals for yourself that you will be mad at yourself for later. Spending years playing with Barbies creating families, and sneakily watching MTV shows, for whatever reason you convinced yourself you would be married with your own family by your early twenties. Of course, everything was picture perfect. You would fall in love at just the right time, with the perfect man. Your wedding would be absolutely perfect.
I'm here to tell you that all of these thoughts you had were bologna. Now, this isn't a bad thing at all, it's just the truth. I'm currently 20 and as single as can be. I can in no way, shape, or form make a timeline for myself about when I'll be married or when I will start my own family.
I've had my fair share of heartbreaks — more than I ever would have pictured years ago (if I ever pictured it happening at all.) I've learned the world is a scary place and there seem to be just as many awful people as there are good.
But, as I've said this isn't bad. This is just reality. So, to my nine-year-old self here are a few things you can look forward to:
You're going to find your passion and discover what you want to do for the rest of your life. And, despite countless Barbie play sessions, it is more than being a stay at home wife. I can't begin to describe what it feels like to discover this, but it's worth the wait and you should be just as excited about this as you are about your wedding.
Although I have not had the most successful relationships, I've learned so much about myself and what I want in a partner. Most importantly, what I deserve in a partner.
Trust me, I still dream about my wedding and the man of my dreams, but I keep that under wraps on my secret Pinterest boards. That's no longer something I tell myself I need to feel complete and happy. There are so many other awesome parts about growing up that are equally as important.
Your family, through multiple disagreements through your pre-teen years, teen years, even your twenties, will still be your lifeline. Hold on to them.
Growing up is about discovering yourself, not placing demands and timelines on your life. It is about going with the flow and trusting your instincts. Trusting that things will fall into place when they are meant to.
With so much love,
My 20-Year-Old Self
