At the beginning of the fall semester I gave a speech to Duke’s Class of 2019 about transitioning into life as a college first-year. I am revisiting this talk, and I have amended it slightly to address this upcoming spring semester and the campus environment during rush. It’s important to remember that your journey doesn’t stop now. It doesn’t start now either. You’ve already accomplished the hardest part: getting started. So here is a reminder that it’s OK to make mistakes, and it’s OK to fail. But most importantly, this letter is a reminder that this time is about finding yourself and making yourself – not becoming who other people want or expect you to be.

Dear Second-Semester First-Year:

I want you to feel a fire burning within you, hungering for today, thirsting for tomorrow, longing for the plethora of new challenges and opportunities that lie before you here at Duke after the end of this first year.

Just a year ago another group of first-year students embarked upon part two of their college journey. We were living next to people we still barely knew, but the moment had arrived on campus for rush to begin. This is a time of a lot of genuine fun and enjoyment; however, rush can bring many feelings of resentment, antipathy, and anxiety, as well as risky decisions. You too are at this turning point. I could stand here and throw out a lot of cute, bumper-sticker-worthy aphorisms, or little anecdotal snippets of my life as a second-semester at Duke, hoping that one aspect or another would be something you could cling to. Yet there’s no need for that.

Instead, what I will do is be honest with you. The end of this year is going to be unlike anything you’ve experienced or expected before. It is going to unravel you, challenge you, inspire you, and undoubtedly toss you about like a sailboat lost at sea. At the end of this year, you will have the chance to look back on the journey that you’ve undergone. You will recognize those friendships that you would put anything on the line for. You will remember those classes that nipped you in the butt, and then you'll go back in for seconds. And you will remember those victorious moments where you thought, “I made the right choice coming to Duke.”

Let me be real with you. I struggled with my transition into Duke. I struggled to feel like I made the right choice coming to this university. Let me reiterate now, before the chaos and turmoil of spring semester begins: You have a place on this campus. You are meant to be here. I rushed through a lot of my first-year experience because I felt inundated by the pressure to stay afloat. Don’t rush through rush. Truly think about who you are and what you want out of a community of friends. That’s what is most important in finding your way through college: community. And some necessary facets of a community include vulnerability, openness, and self-awareness. These are three insoluble means of conquering fear and failure – with the help of some true friends.

Look around you. Take a good look at your peers. You are not alone. No one has all of the answers. And guess what, if they say they do, they’re lying to you. Right now, it’s OK to feel like you don’t belong. It’s OK to feel out of place. Why? Because you are still finding your place; and your place on campus may not necessarily equate with the place of your roommate, "best friend," lab partner, or RA.

So don’t be afraid of this uneasiness, but rather channel it. No one has the scorecard to rate your performance at living your life. There is no standard that you will be compared to outside of your own capabilities, potential, and opportunity.

I still feel lost and out of place at times. This summer I entertained the ideas of majoring in neuroscience, psychology, religious studies, English, public policy, Spanish, and history, and I changed my schedule numerous times reflecting these uncertainties. But I am OK with that feeling. Dig into this adventure and beauty of your first year of college. Explore the depths of your heart, soul, and mind here. Why? Because you can! Share your struggles and successes with your peers. Be open to Duke, and Duke will open so many doors to you.

The world’s future leaders surround you right now. Get to know them! Introduce yourself already if you haven’t. The beauty of the arrival of spring semester again, amid a lot of chaos, is the fact that students will once more open themselves up to meet new friends and welcome new stories into the narrative of their Duke epics. You all have the great challenge of setting a “class culture.” So I challenge you all once more: Get to know your classmates. Think of co-curricular activities as more than student groups or programs. Rather, let’s have our definition of co-curricular activities embody this: the engagements that complement the process of education – and the most important engagement is that of a connection between two people. Make it the norm to start a conversation that goes deeper than what’s your major and where are you from. Make it intentional. Focus on people, on each other. That’s when you show how you really care to get to know someone for who they really are. You will be amazed. You will grow. And your year (more like years!) will be transformed.

Thank you and best of luck.