To 17-year-old me,
First of all, I know you are beyond busy right now, juggling going to school all day with 7 classes, extra-curriculars and working on your SAT prep and college applications. Whew, now I go to an hour lecture and need a nap for the rest of the day. You think you aren't doing enough, but you need to know that you're doing what is most important: your best.
You work hard every day and I know it feels like nothing is coming out of it. I know you're still struggling to feel happy and accomplished. But what you don't know is that what you are doing now is setting you up for years of success. Your ambition, drive, and willingness to push yourself is what is going to allow for great things in your future. I'm not going to lie and say this is going to make things easy. To be completely honest, some of the hardest times in your life have yet to come.
You will go through more heart ache and you will deal with rejection. I know you are working your ass off to get into your top choice college and I hate to break it to you but you won't. This will feel like the end of the world. But what you also don't know is that you will end up at an equally amazing school that is actually what is best for your passion (you'll change majors to, but that's a whole other story). You will learn so much and be thankful that you were rejected. You will also deal with loss like you never have before. But it's important to remember that sometimes you outgrow people and it might not feel like it, but it is best to part ways. You will always have the memories and the hole in your heart will heal. You will find new people that set your soul on fire.
Okay, take a breath. I know this sounds like a lot of negativity but I want you to know this because these things are what is going to make you strong. You will not let this define you and you will gain more control over your life then you have ever had before. You will learn to do what is best for yourself. And I can't stress this enough- you will thrive. You will start nourishing your body, mind and soul. You will start eating healthy, exercising and surrounding yourself with people that are good for your mental health. You will have a good GPA and land a research internship that you never in a million years thought you would get.
Before you know it, you'll be a junior (almost senior) in college and be writing this letter to yourself. I am writing this to you because when I was where you are now, I wish I would've let myself enjoy life. I wish I would've known that the frustration and sadness I was feeling wasn't permanent. I wish I could've actually believed in myself. Because now I am a successful 20 year old women and I have made the most beautiful life for myself. Our future is so bright and I know the light at the end of the tunnel might seem very far to you, but if you hang in there a couple more years, it won't be too far out of sight.
Love,
The you who learned to believe in you
