Jenni and Nick are sitting down to coffee. Jenni has known Nick for a while now and she has grown to trust him. She decides to disclose her backstory. Jenni says, “I have been raped before.” Nick thinks to himself, Wow, that’s awful. “The first time was back in high school. I was 16. The second time was my freshman year of college and the third was my sophomore.” Hmmmm. Nick thinks to himself. Now that sounds suspicious. I think she’s lying. Nick has a good point, doesn’t he? I mean, how many times can one person be violated before knowing what’s happening and mustering the ability to stop it? She must be a liar and looking for attention. If you are someone who thinks this way, then you need to take a step back and look at it through a different lens. Let’s look at the statistics provided by two wonderful organizations, RAINN and End Rape On Campus.
In college, 1 in 3 women will be raped their freshman year. Picture three women in front of you and have one step off to the side. Picture rows of three coming up and doing the same thing. It adds up, right? So do the number of repeated rape victims.
Out of that percentage, more than half will be raped at least one more time, either by the same person or a new perp.
Taking this one step further, women who have been raped are more than two times more likely to be raped again than a new victim is likely to be raped a first time. That’s a lot of people and a lot of rapes. This is where the term re-victimization comes in.
"Re-victimization” is exactly how it sounds. It is taking a previous victim and turning them into a victim again. While this term is not solely dedicated to rape, it is mainly used in the context of rape. Rape is considered to be one of the most complex crimes and the idea that re-victimization exists, phases many people. It is easier for someone to say, “oh, she’s lying” than to say “wow, she’s really been through it.” Speaking of honesty, let’s take a look at a few more statistics:
In America, only 1% of reported rape cases are false, which, of course if you’re good at math, means that 99% of reported rape cases are true. So why do victims lose validity after their second rape? Why must we question the validity? Do we even have the right?
The answers to these questions are harder than they should be given where our society is at. I would rather a detective spend more time proving that the perp did it, rather than spend his time trying to prove that the victim is lying. Unfortunately, while statistics are great, they don’t always hold water in court.
Here’s a chilling statistic for you: every 109 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Yup. Every 109 seconds. This includes previous victims and new ones. So how can we really say for sure whether or not our friends and peers are lying? We can’t and unless it can be proven that they are a part of that 1%, you should always assume that they are in the 99%
Let’s go back to re-victimization. There are three main responses to trauma. Flight response, flight response, or just lay there and wait. More than half of people who have been re-victimized chose the third response. It’s a survival technique just like a shooting when people fake dead. Same concept. This makes a previous victim more vulnerable because there may be less fighting and resistance this time.
Long story short, re-victimization is a very real thing. If your friend, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend, or co worker confides in you, listen. What you think is the truth is irrelevant. Don’t put their experiences on the stand. It’s not your place. I hope that you took something away from this article. Stay safe, keep your loved members safe, and be open to all the options.
