We Need To Save The People, Not The “Ta-Tas”

We Need To Save The People, Not The “Ta-Tas”

The words we use matter, and so do lives.
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I can still remember the day, nearly thirteen years ago, that my mother told me she was going to have a surgery that would take away her breasts.

I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was calm and matter-of-fact about it, just like she and my father had been about every detail of that “cancer” thing. She told me that she was getting the surgery, and getting rid of her breasts, to make sure that the cancer would not happen again.

And I, nine years old at the time, replied, “Well, it’s okay if you lose your soft parts, because I can still put my head on your belly.”

It would take me almost a decade to think about my mother’s double mastectomy in a more serious light. Back then, I had no idea how dangerous breast cancer really was, how miserable chemotherapy was, and how close to dying my mother actually came. I didn’t have any reason to have that kind of idea, because my parents made every effort to keep life running normally and to keep my mother from dying. Because my mother decided to give up her breasts for her health.

I grew up with a mother who had a pair of scars on her chest instead of a pair of breasts.

And that’s why, when I hear the voice on an otherwise enjoyable radio station announce every day their upcoming inaugural “Tee-Up for Ta-Tas” golf tournament and breast cancer awareness fundraiser, I get angry.

I get angry because the words we use to describe our actions matter just as much as the actions themselves.

I get angry because phrases like “Tee-Up for Ta-Tas,” “I Heart Boobies,” and “Save Second Base” use objectifying language to reframe the issue of breast cancer to focus on the breasts that are at stake, rather than the lives.

I get angry because apparently people think that the only way to get men interested in saving people’s lives is to reframe the issue and make it about saving the women’s sex appeal.

I get angry because, for some people, that is the only way to get them interested in saving people’s lives.

I get angry because turning the fight against breast cancer into a fight to save women’s sex appeal reduces women’s value to their breasts, silences the people of other genders who also suffer from breast cancer, and turns a serious issue into an awkward joke.

I get angry because the people who create campaigns like this clearly think that the most important part of this article’s fourth paragraph is “who had a pair of scars on her chest instead of a pair of breasts,” instead of “I grew up with a mother.”

I get angry because the people who create and attend events with those names would look at my mother – my wonderful, strong, ALIVE mother – and think that she “lost” the fight because she lost her breasts.

Of course I am happy that people want to raise money for the fight against breast cancer. Of course I would love to see a world in which mastectomies were obsolete, where no one needed to undergo surgery or months of radiation treatments in order to see their children grow up. I now have some idea of how hard my parents must have worked to keep my life seeming normal in that year in which everything could have changed forever – and of course I hope that I will never have to actually, personally come to know how hard it was.

But having a mother with no “ta-tas” is infinitely and unquestionably better than having no mother at all.

Cover Image Credit: Sophie Katz

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Wearing Sneakers To The Gym Just Isn't Going To Cut It These Days

Going to the gym is more than just working out its about having the right gadgets and outfits to go with it.

rtufaro
rtufaro
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I am an advocate of making sure you sweat once a day, I love going to the gym. I blast my music, feel my muscles fatiuging, and sweat it out. As I have been going to the gym more I have noticed that people's outfits to the gym are more than just your average t-shirt and leggings people wear multicolored and matching attire and are geared up with their Apple airpods and watches.

I personally go with an old T-shirt and throw on my freshly washed leggings and my running shoes and I am ready to go, but I see how dressing in the full work out attire has a positive impact on your gym session. Feeling fully motivated in your new matching gym getup is important as you will want to work out harder and push yourself being that you are fully in the right gear. As I progress in attending the gym I want to get an Apple watch and track my data.

It is important to move your body for at least once an hour a day and by going to the gym you are ensuring this movement. Eating right also puts you on track and if you are working out and eating right you will surely soon see your hard work. NoIt doesn't matter what you wear to the gym as long as you are there your making progress. It is important however to stay motivated because in order to get anything out of the gym you have to participate and in doing so wearing a cute gym out fit will only make this better.

rtufaro
rtufaro

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