Let's be honest, we all tell ourselves little lies to get through the day.
Sometimes, I tell myself lies like, "Yes, you can start studying for that midterm the night before and get an A," or, "You don't really need seven hours of sleep, you can definitely stay up until 2:00 a.m. and be fine for your 8:30." When the harsh light of morning comes, I realize that the glimmering lies that I told myself at night were all too false. We all tell ourselves little lies like these. These lies aren't malicious. Instead, they are full of the twinkle of hope that maybe it will work out this time.
That's the trouble with little lies, they are disguised as hopes. It's harmless when my hopeful little lie tries to convince me that I don't need sleep one night. I wake up and I'm tired for a day, but that's it. However, these lies can become harmful when they're about bigger things.
Maybe you're telling yourself that the person who you are in a relationship is really great and that things are going well when you, and all of your friends, know that it really isn't. Maybe you're trying to tell yourself that you really do like math and that you want to major in it when, in reality, you hate it and are only doing it to please your parents. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself that the people who you hang out with aren't bad influences at all, even when you start doing things that you aren't very proud of.
These kind of lies aren't as harmless because they impact your life in major ways. They don't just dictate what happens or how you feel one day, they dictate how you feel for months and even years. These lies are dangerous.
So, why do we lie to ourselves?
I think that we lie because we confuse lying with hoping. I hope to one day graduate from college and get married and have a family. These hopes are very good things to want and I sometimes I tell myself lies so that I can achieve them faster or more easily. I lie about how a relationship is going or about how well I like my major because I want to get married and I want to have a career. These are great things to want and hope for, but lying isn't going to get them. If I lie to myself about my relationships, I could end up with an unhappy marriage. If I lie about my aspirations, I could end up with an unhappy career. I definitely don't want those things.
Here's the real kicker, if I can't be honest with myself, I can't be honest with other people. Suddenly, this creates a world where everyone is lying to themselves. Thus, they are lying to everyone else. Think about it. When you lie to yourself about liking your school or major, you aren't just lying to yourself. You end up lying to everyone else by saying how you do like your school or how you really do love math. Guess what? They are doing the same to you. In the end, no one knows the truth about who you are and you don't know the truth about anyone else.
That sounds like a not so fun world to live in.
So, I'm trying this new thing where I'm being more honest with myself and my friends. Sometimes it makes people a little uncomfortable and sometimes it means admitting things that I don't always want to admit to myself. However, overall, it has been a wonderful experience of acceptance and openness and I encourage you to try it. As college students, we have the opportunity to affect great change in our culture. So, let's change it. Let's be honest.
