Being vulnerable, by definition, means leaving yourself open to emotional harm. No one ever wants that. We as people naturally avoid pain at all cost. Why would we intentionally open ourselves up to the possibility if ridicule, judgment, and pain?
Researcher/Storyteller Brené Brown gave a TED talk about this touchy subject.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” –Brené Brown
Being vulnerable requires extreme amounts of courage. Courage is more than just being brave and more than just facing your fears. Being courageous means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
Be honest about who you are, lay it all out on the table, be courageous.
Being vulnerable is scary for us because it means trusting someone enough to tell them the honest truth about who you really are and giving them the power to destroy you. There’s nothing fun about that.
It’s easy to hide from vulnerability. It’s easy to numb it and keep the darkest parts of yourself hidden, never allowing anyone all the way in. We do it every day. We make light of our pain, hide our fear, and distinguish any possible piece of vulnerability.
But in doing this, we are preventing ourselves from experiencing real, deep connections with people. We put roadblocks in front of us that don’t allow us to express ourselves fully. But as Brené says, “vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”
I hate being vulnerable. I’m extremely uncomfortable with it, as most of us are. But I’m starting to recognize that it is sometimes necessary.
There are many things about myself that I have only shared with a few people if any at all. I’m afraid to open myself up to the possibility of being judged or looked down on by the people I care about. I’m afraid of letting people down. I’m afraid that by being honest and vulnerable it will make me less strong.
I’m slowly coming to realize that a certain amount of vulnerability is necessary. Especially as a writer. I’m learning that my writing will hold more power and touch more people if I am willing to be vulnerable to the reader. Vulnerability is the key to unlocking art.
This is not to say that we should make ourselves vulnerable to everyone. Not everyone deserves our whole selves in that way. Being vulnerable is such a delicate thing, we have to be careful who we allow to know us like that.
Be careful with your vulnerability, but don’t lock it away.
Yes, being vulnerable is scary.
Yes, it hurts to be wholeheartedly honest sometimes.
Yes, you are leaving yourself open to be hurt or rejected by other people.
But, freeing yourself from the fear of vulnerability and allowing yourself to be truly open and honest about who you are and what you’ve been through can set you free in ways you couldn’t have imagined.
Be honest.
Be yourself.
Be courageous.
Allow yourself to embrace vulnerability.
