I spent October “off the grid” and becoming content with my own presence.

I spent October dancing in crowds with friends and going through rolls of film carelessly. We laid in our tent and made each other peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while fighting off the ants that covered our container of strawberry jelly.

I spent October taking naps under the sun and watching the changing leaves fall. I spent October under forts made of old sheets while drinking blackberry wine and watching Edward Scissorhands.

I spent October showing up to parties in wigs, dressed in layers, and bumping heads from laughing so hard.

I spent October in fields alone, eating rice and drinking black coffee. Everything felt so simple. Each bite I took left me feeling more grateful and content with all that has been and all that will be. The overwhelming joy left my cheeks flushed and my mind free of worry. The senses I normally took advantage of, I now noticed.

I spent October sitting alone with my thoughts, without my phone to distract me.

I spent October talking to strangers. While washing dishes and chopping pineapple, I’d look both ways before stealing a bite of the ripe fruit. I met new friends called Wave and Nome. Wave was an old man with eyes that had seen years of change and spoke with wisdom. We discussed astrology, music, traveling, and the many adventures he had encountered while on the road. He drew out my astrological chart and explained the many scribbles to me.

Nome, Wave, and I spent that weekend laughing, teaching, and learning from each other. October gave me hope in humanity and a hope in unusual friendships.

I spent October dressing in my favorite clothes and becoming more and more confident. I mixed the most ridiculous patterns and prints together. October gave me confidence to take the outfits I had only ever worn in the comfort of my room, out to the streets. I paired my green flared pants with my paisley shirt, my cheetah print belt, and with my fur slides. Scarf in my hair and sparkles on my nails, I felt radiant. Each new and shocking outfit I wore to class, the more exhilarated I felt.

October gave me the confidence and strength to be daring and to dress how I feel.

I spent October growing closer to friends and challenging myself. Each day was a new opportunity to make myself happier. I have found that we often push things we want in life. It is so easy to get caught up on people, things, ambitions, and so much more. Once we stop forcing things that we want to happen and instead allow the universe to take charge, everything else falls into place.

I let go in October. Each day since has been rewarding.

October allowed me to see the world as art once again. A feeling I had once lost, came back again. October has been exhilarating. Thank you October, for a whirlwind of love and friendship. I truly am living.