Imagine, if you will, working your last table at one in the morning. The couple at the table keeps snickering, pointing their drunken fingers behind your back and spouting impish names your way indiscriminately. You want to punch that frat boy square in the face, but you hold off because you could use the tip money to help you pay your dad back when he loaned you the bread for buying textbooks. It’s only getting later, life is beginning to drain every ounce of energy you could muster, and though you’re not a drinking man you could see the need for a few cans of Sam Adams Boston Lager.
By the time you collect their check, you find a little piece of your soul killed off—not only did they decide not to tip you, but on the credit card slip they drew obscenities all over the paper. For the love of all that is holy, you know you’re going to break; that beer couldn’t get inside your belly fast enough, and you could feel the rage festering inside you. Is there no God? Is this real life? Who will help me find this couple and give them a piece of my mind?
Ladies and gentlemen, this is just one of many times I had the distinct non-pleasure of serving the less civilized of the world in my almost three years working as a waiter. I could go into more detail regarding these knuckle-dragging mouth breathers I waited on, but I don’t wish to relive the experience any more than I have to. The fact of the matter is this: I used to think highly of humanity. I used to think of people as good and decent, but after going eight hours a night killing pieces of my soul I could only shake my fist at everyone and exclaim, “You poor excuses don’t know how to treat your fellow man and woman!”
Not enough people who go out realize the importance of basic human dignity when it matters most. Not enough people who go out and eat look at the ones who serve them and stop to think, “Hey, this person who is serving me is in fact a person.” It would be great if everybody could think this way, but they don’t; that is probably not the only source for all the problems in the world, but it sure helped in the situation.
Ladies and gentlemen I implore you, don’t go gentle into that good night of complacency. Don’t take your wait staff for granted. When you sit down at a restaurant, and that young lady comes up to greet you and collect your drink order, please show her some positive attention.
Please give me back some of my goodwill towards humanity, and save those obscene art exercises for elsewhere besides my credit card slip. Thank you, and goodnight.
