"A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." - Marion Garretty
Being the middle born of seven cousins in a large and proud Italian family felt a little bit like "7th Heaven" at times. I am my mother's only child, so for most of my childhood, I considered my mom's side of the family to be my "immediate family." This meant that big holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and sometimes even Mother's Day) were considered mandatory family time, because it was the only time when we were all together. Imagine "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" with half the people and a lot of spaghetti.
Not having older siblings meant I had to learn lessons the hard way—on my own. However, there are a few things that my cousins taught me on those special days every year, and still do as adults, that will stay with me forever.
1. Cherish Each Moment
I have always been the kind of person who loves to plan my future with thorough attention to detail. I love to have a step-by-step guide for what happens next, what goals I want to tackle, and how much time it is going to take to get me there. My cousins, however, have recently taught me to take a step back and look at where I am now. They tell me to see the beauty of what is right in front of me, have a glass of wine, and cuddle the newest addition to the family. Every time I see them, there is something new and exciting happening in their lives, and I feel like there isn't enough time in the world to catch up on every detail.
It's these people, my peers, who remind me that life is what happens while you're busy making plans. Next thing I know, things will be changing again, and I will be stuck rearranging the schedule.
2. Be A Role Model, Always
Like I said before, I am the middle of seven cousins, so I have three older and three younger than me. My older cousins have always been my role models. They are who I compare myself to, whether it be in instances of love, work, or morality. All of them are happily married now and have started families of their own. They show me all the time what it means to be a good person, spouse, and parent, and where they have succeeded or made mistakes. I can tell you that watching them made me the empathetic and humble leader I have been striving to be.
They also taught me how to be a good role model. My younger cousins and I have always been a pack. Wherever we eat is always deemed "The Kids' Table," and we're inseparable whenever we are together. I, being the oldest of the pack, was always calling the shots, making plans, and acting as "mom" until I had to call a real adult to the situation. Without these experiences, I don't know what kind of person I would be today, because I wouldn't have had the chance to be the responsible one, the one to look to, or the one to lead. In reality, I think they have helped me more than I have ever helped them.
3. Never Give Up On God Or Yourself
In my adolescent and adult life, I have made mistakes and conquered fears. I doubted decisions at every turn and lost sight of what was reality and what was irrational fantasy. These moments were unbelievably hard on me, and they tested my strength, faith, and confidence. In these moments, I turned to my cousins for reassurance. They have always seemed like they "had all their eggs in the right basket" and I wanted that so desperately for myself. I assumed only they could give me the answers. They all told me to look to God and to listen to myself. No decision I made would be right unless it felt right to me, and there was no way I would have the strength to make it happen unless I believed in God's plan.
My cousins were also the ones who taught me not everyone is perfect. Everyone has had their own hardships and flaws, but it is the way you handle yourself in tough situations that defines the kind of person you are.
So thank you to my cousins. They have made me a little wiser, my life a little easier, and my world a whole lot brighter.
