I remember the specific moment when I realized that my face makes me look incredibly unapproachable and irritated. I was in first grade, sitting on the blacktop, and I scared away the substitute teacher by making eye contact with her. I then realized that my face was cringing, which was making me look villainous, and it was pretty much painful to uncringe it, because I had been making this face for so long. I tried so hard to stop the scowling, but it wouldn't happen. I read somewhere that if you keep the same facial expression for 24 hours, that it will become natural and normal for you. In 2009, I decided I was going to smile for an entire day but I gave up after a few minutes. A few years ago, the face got a name: resting bitch face. It is defined as “a term for a facial expression (or lack of expression) which unintentionally appears angry, annoyed or irritated.”
Although I pretty strongly dislike the fact that I was born looking irritated, it does have its occasional perks, as well as, of course, drawbacks. I would be a whole different person without it. Here are a few things I’ve learned.
1. If I feel a teacher is about to call on me in class, all I have to do is look at them and they immediately leave me alone.
This is my single greatest weapon.
2. Similarly, if a vendor is trying to sell something, they don't even bother asking me.
3. Some people have no mercy and will not hold back on you if they think you’re angry.
I was kicked out of SAT tutoring because the teacher thought I was unmotivated and annoyed (I guess that was sort of true).
4. Everyone is pleasantly surprised when they realize I do sort of have a soul.
Or not surprised at all when they realize I do not.
5. Looking angry is a very effective way to get your own section on a plane, train, subway, etc.
All I have to do is sit back and put on my natural face.
6. Some strangers will not hold back from walking up and telling you that your angry facial expression is bothering them.
Looking angry really upsets a multitude of people, and many of them are not afraid to hassle someone they have never met before about it.
7. A good way to intimidate people is to look at them naturally.
(If you are fortunateenough to have resting bitch face.)
I often worry about how people see me. What if the whole rest of my life is like that time I ruined my eighth-grade class photo because they told us not to smile and I looked like I was in a fury? The biggest drawback to this experience is that many people think I am an angry, entitled brat, but that's alright. I was born looking irritated, have spent the past eighteen years looking irritated, and will probably die looking irritated. It's comforting to know that wherever I go, I get to take my resting bitch face with me!
