There Wouldn't Be Success Without You

Cliche, I know, but it is a valuable lesson that applies to almost anything. Whether it be fitness, your goals, studying, doing homework, whatever it may be, you will not get anywhere unless you don't move. Sometimes, the force comes from outside, say a grade, or a friend pushing you to workout with them, but the strongest force comes from inside. Study on top of study says those who have a sense of internal motivation, an internal drive to accomplish something, will succeed more often than those who are simply pursuing external benefits, like grades. Pushing yourself to go accomplish something is the most reliable way to get yourself on track to actually accomplish your goals.

For example, in freshman year of high school, I was overweight for my age, so I started to work out. I went on walks 4 times a week and did high-intensity cardio the other 3 days, I did weight training most days a week as well. Started eating more whole foods, and less junk. I lost 40 pounds in one year. This wasn't the first time I tried to lose weight, I had tried in 7th and 8th grade too but I failed because I was only doing it for a greater degree of social acceptance not because I was genuinely interested or devoted to it. Now that I've finished my senior year, I still workout daily. The desire to change and to pursue those goals were so much stronger in me in freshman year because I wasn't trying to just 'fit in' so to speak. Even in school, I performed exponentially better in classes I was genuinely interested in the classes I had to take because I wanted to actually learn the material. Classes like world history, US history, physics, economics, and even when I struggled I still tried in classes like calculus. But in classes where I wasn't interested in, like pre-calc or Spanish, when things got hard I just stopped trying.

This internal drive is so important for so many things, it pushes you to be the best you, it helps to create your identity, and sadly, not many people have found what motivates them. I suggest taking electives, pushing yourself, joining social groups and clubs. I found my motivation in politics when I joined Model United Nations and Youth In Government, and I haven't stopped working for it since. Now my life revolves around politics, that's what I want to do in life, and everything I do ties back into it some way. I work on bettering myself every day so I can one day have a successful career in that area. My whole identity has shifted to that way of thinking. There is no way to avoid doing things for external motivation, but if you can focus your energy on things you truly care about, you become more successful and you feel more fulfilled. This lesson is timeless, the more you work on things that interest you, the happier you become. This was certainly true for me.

Make a List of Goals for the Day

This sounds tedious, but I can't stress enough how beneficial this has been to me and several of my friends. In late May of my Junior year, a counselor at a values conference I was attending told me about how he journals his goals and his blessings for the day. I didn't think much of it until March of my senior year. I was falling behind in most of my classes and I wasn't doing as well as I know I could've. I had recently gone through a hard time and this stress was just making me feel overwhelmed and I neglected to do my work. I was so behind in all four of my classes, all of which or AP classes and I didn't even know where to start. Then I remembered what he said while I was registering for the conference again this year. I started doing it the following day. Everyday I made a list, usually of about 5-6 assignments and of just general small stuff I could do that day, like workout, go for a 30 minute run.

My productivity skyrocketed.

Having the list made everything seem manageable but it also encouraged me to do go out and do it. The science behind it is that it signals to your brain that this goal is important, which tells your brain to be on the lookout for opportunities and openings to go out and complete the goal. I break mine down into two separate categories, short-term goals and medium to long-term goals. Short term goals are stuff I can do today to meet my long-term goals. For example, I must complete this assignment if I want to increase my grade in this class. Connecting your short-term goals to your long-term goals increases your motivation to fulfill the long-term goal. I keep everything from fitness goals, to academic goals, to just simple goals, like read a chapter or two a day. It's not for everybody, but I highly recommend doing it. I regret not starting earlier in high school, but I know I will be continuing this practice coming this fall.

You won't get everything, and that is okay.

I learned this lesson the hard way my senior year. I applied to 7 colleges. I was waitlisted by 4, denied by 2, and accepted by 1. It didn't feel good. My dream school for the longest time was the University of Chicago, I was waitlisted in March and was dismissed from it in early May. To make matters worse, a person who did not like me very much got in, only she didn't want to attend. I felt awful about myself. I had worked so hard in high school to make up for my terrible freshman year and I was leadership in so many clubs, I thought I had it. But I didn't. I didn't make it into any other college besides Emory. For the longest time, I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. It took me about a week after hearing back from all my schools to finally start to feel better. I threw myself into the Emory community, I joined lots of chats, got to know a lot more people, applied to write for Odyssey and I plan on joining many other clubs.

Now, I'm so incredibly certain that this is the school for me. Met an amazing roommate and so many friends who I haven't even met yet. What kept me going is that things happen for a reason, and sometimes that reason is unclear but it should never deter you. There are so many opportunities, and I know that I can go to graduate school or transfer one day to one of the schools I was denied from. But Emory chose me for a reason, and I know that it'll be a great fit in the fall. So sometimes, you don't always get what you hope for, but that's okay, because when one door closes, countless other doors and opportunities open up just for you to explore. It may take some time to see things clearly, but things always work out for the best in the end, it just might take some time.

Embrace Yourself

This is another cliche one, but it is incredibly true. For 15 years I always tried to fit in with everybody and I never bothered to find out who I was. I jumped from friend group to friend group never actually feeling included or that happy. My junior year, I fully embraced who I was. I was a political nerd who loved memes and who loved (most) of school. I did Model UN, Youth In Government, Conference on National Affairs, DECA, Student Government, whatever, and it was through these programs that I made life long friends who I never would've met otherwise. I embraced all my fault, capitalized on my strengths, was vocal about my opinions. I embraced every part about me. Not only did this inspire me to keep pushing and keep striving to do greater, it gave me a network of people who actually liked me for me, rather than who I was friends with. I found my niche of friends. We hangout all the time now, I go and visit people who live across the state frequently, I talk with them everyday. Just being myself opened up so many opportunities that I could've never even conceived of and it is the reason I am where I am today. I'm a little arrogant, I'm a little awkward, I'm not the best at sports, but I'm intelligent, strong and incredibly dedicated. You must embrace every part about you, but never stop trying to better yourself either. It makes you happier, helps you make better friends, and creates opportunities you never would've thought of if you kept hiding your true self from everybody.

Dress to Impress

I wore a suit everyday of my junior and senior year, and most of my sophomore year. I didn't have to, and I was yelled at by administration a few times for it. It was technically against my schools dress code, but I did it any way. I don't really know why I did it, but I do know that it created a lot of respect and really helped my image around the school. I loved wearing suits but they do come with the added benefit of praise. Everybody around the school knew my name and they all called me the 'suit guy'. People would stop to shake my hand, stop to talk, stop to compliment the way I dress. It was great. Teachers respected me for it and I gave them mutual respect right back. Dressing to impress brings respect but it also feels good to know that you look great in a nice suit. Plus, it helps with the girls, fellas.

Never Stop Pushing

Lastly, the most important advice for anyone, is to never stop pushing yourself. Don't regret what could've been. Add 10 more pounds to the barbell, write one more page, run 1 more mile. Things get rough some times, for everybody, but the second that you stop pursing your goals, the second that you stop being yourself, things become a lot worse. Things start to pile up, you start feeling overwhelmed. It hurts to keep pushing but once you get over the hill, anything is possible. Every time you stop, you just fall back to where you started. The pain makes you stronger and stronger and just giving up will not lead to any growth. If you want something, go and get it. Don't sit around and wait. Apply for that job, apply to your dream school, ask that girl out. Life is at your fingertips, stuff doesn't just come to us. We must go and achieve what we want, because good things only come to those who create the good. Start that club, run for president of student government. Never let yourself stop pushing for your goals. I think this is the most important life lesson. If you don't you'll spend forever wondering what could have been as you watch everyone reach the top of the hill while you sit there wondering what's it like up there. You become resentful of those that didn't stop. No matter what, you can always keep pushing.