As my first year in college comes to a close, I’ve had the chance to reflect on the growth and experiences I’ve endured over the past nine months. This school year has truly been one filled with both knowledge of self and knowledge of others. Not only am I leaving campus a completely different being, many of my peers are as well. Many of us are beginning to evolve, and not just physically. The mental transformations that colleges force upon their students is drastic and monumental and the differences between a graduating senior in high school and a rising sophomore in college are as well. The following list examines all of the lessons I, and many other freshmen, learned this year. If you’re an incoming freshman, what I’ve learned may help you prepare for you first year of college.
1. When people show you who they are, you have to believe them.
You cannot turn a blind eye to the very essence of a person. You cannot ignore their actions, or make excuses for them, and ultimately, once they show you their true colors, it’s up to you to decide how to react. The saying “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” has never been so true. If somebody is continuously showing you who they are, it’s idiotic to ignore them. If there’s anything I’ve learned this year, it’s to believe a person when they reveal to you their true Self.
2. Don't cry over spilled milk.
You will have problems and you will make mistakes. Dwelling on these problems will drive you crazy. Acknowledge your mistake and grow from it. Make lemonade from the lemons life gives you.
3. Contrary popular belief, there are alcoholics in college.
There are going to be people, even some of your friends, who use alcohol to cope with the stress and depression they feel. They will drink themselves to incoherency and they will pass out. They will drink until they see nothingness. They will drink until the world is black. They will drink until they feel a little less empty. And they will do this every weekend. Of course, college students drinking is no surprise. But, this dependency is abnormal and you will have to take your friend aside and let them know that what they’re doing is not OK.
4. Depression affects college kids and it affects black kids too.
There has often been a stigma with mental illnesses in the black community. Black people don’t get depression because we’re strong. We may be strong, we may be resilient, but depression has no race. In fact, I, as well as quite a few of my friends, have had a bout of depression at least once in college. You are not “crazy” if you are dealing with depression. Also, depression is depression, no matter what the severity is. Talk to a professional, talk to your friends, and get help even if you’re only suffering from mild symptoms.
5. Food is the most expensive thing in college.
Ironically, it’s food that eats up all your funds. And it’s worth it. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve looked at my bank account and then looked at a food menu and thought “f**k it, I’ll just go broke.” I never thought I would be the type of person to spend all of my money on food, but when the cafeteria closes at 9:00 PM and having sleep for dinner doesn’t sound too appetizing, money just seems to fly out of your bank account.
6. Don’t lose track of your goals.
7. Balance is key.
Learning to balance your academic life with your social life is arguably one of the most difficult things about transitioning to college. There will be parties literally every weekend, especially if you go to a school like Howard University, where the social life is just as valued as the academics. Missing out on a memorable party can be upsetting, but when you get the grade you wanted in that really hard class, you’ll be glad you took a party hiatus.
8. Don’t let anyone take you off your grind.
In the words of Queen Bey, “stop interrupting my grinding.” Tell that to any friend, any romantic partner, or any family member. If they’re really there for you, they will motivate you, they will help you reach your goals, and they will certainly not interrupt your grind. Subsequently, if you’re really there for them, you will do the same. Sometimes, a slip up may occur unintentionally, but just politely follow Beyoncé's words of wisdom and tell them to stop interrupting your grinding. And don't be sorry for it.
9. Time-management is crucial.
With so much going on in college, time-management is hard. The parties, the extra-curricular activities, the actual schoolwork, it’s a lot to take in. Getting a planner is definitely a major key for success. It helps with managing stress (for more stress management tips you can go here) and it makes you more responsible.
10. Networking is everything.
The saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” is more than accurate. Networking can get you job opportunities, internships, and more, especially if you’re at a well-known school. Use those connections to your advantage!
11. Freshman year goes by extremely quick.
It’s terrifying how the school year goes by so quickly. It’s as if one day you’re moving in and the very next you’re moving out. Your phone will be filled with memories and embarrassing photos of you and your friends. It’s bittersweet. One part of you will be turning up, proud to be done with your first year. The other part will be wondering where the time went and questioning how fast the rest will go. With that being said, you have to enjoy every minute of it. Every single minute.
