Grandparents play an important part in any kid's life. They spoil them and always say "yes" when parents give a firm "no." As you grow up, they become a source of wisdom that is passed down through the generations that you will one day pass on to your grandchildren. Thanks to my wealth of grandparents (and great-grandparents, and even a great-great-grandfather for many years), I've been able to gather a good amount of this wisdom. Here are a few tips from the elders.
1. Act like a lady.
I may have hated it in the moment when my grandmother told me a million times at Thanksgiving to "sit like a lady" with both feet on the floor, but sitting in interviews, important networking dinners, and years of sitting on stages in dresses has taught me to be thankful for this lesson.
2. But don't be afraid to go outside with the boys.
I will always remember going mud bogging on four-wheelers at my grandparent's house, thanks to all of my older cousins being male. I had fun, and I think there was more mud than skin at the end of the day, but I drew the line when mud got in my mouth during the clean-up mud fight.
3. Don't settle.
One of the most valuable life lessons I've learned from my grandparents is how people should be treated. Watching my great-grandparents is truly amazing. They have that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, where over 60 years later, they're even more in love than the day he snuck her out of her father's house to get married. You can tell by the way that they look at each other that true love does exist. They taught me to never settle for less than that.
4. Always be sure.
One of the most memorable lessons comes from my great-grandfather. He has been known to say things that make you do a double-take so every time he opens his mouth, the room gets quiet with anticipation. One of his favorite pieces of advice is for young people who think they're in love. "When you get to thinking you're in love, you're just so in love you can't hardly stand it. You get butterflies, your stomach is all in knots around them. Take 2 Alka Seltzer and a nap, it's probably just gas."
5. Appreciate your country.
My father's dad was in the Army during Vietnam and is now legally blind. This doesn't stop him from volunteering (and winning offices in) the Disabled American Veterans. He and my grandmother both have been at the DAV building every Wednesday for as long as I can remember. I grew up singing at every Veterans Day and Memorial Day celebration in Horry County and handing out flags to everyone from veterans to senators. Seeing these people who gave themselves for this country has forever made an impact on me.
6. How to make good Southern biscuits.
Note: This is not from Bisquick. I used to go to my great-grandmother's house on Sundays and the thing that I remember most is making biscuits with her. Scooting a stool up to the counter so I could reach, we would stand at the counter and make biscuits by hand while Nascar played in the living room. Doesn't get much more Southern than that.
7. Put family second.
Living less than 30 minutes from all my grandparents growing up, I knew that I could call on them for anything. If I missed the school bus and Mom had to get to work, Nanny or Papa would be there to pick me up before they went to work. My sister called a grandparent once so she could run away from home just because Dad was making spaghetti again. In my family, there is only one thing more important than those you love.
8. Put God first.
As long as you put Him first, everything else will fall into place. Whether that's family, school, work, friends, or anything else. Stress doesn't do you much good, so be thankful for the things He's blessed you with, and believe that you'll get through the lessons He's trying to teach you.
9. Don't touch a barbed wire or electric fence.
Every time I'd try to feed the cows pears through the fence, I would prick or electrocute myself. You would think after so many times, I would get better at navigating the fence, but apparently this is just a skill I'm not going to ever possess.
10. If you can't be good, don't get caught.
Because I'm a part of his bloodline, my great-grandfather knows better than to tell me to behave. He remembers when he was young and knows that that's not feasible. Instead, he gives me this more practical advice every time I leave.
11. Climbing a tree never hurt anyone.
Falling out of a tree, maybe. But not climbing it. Whether it was climbing up to get oranges from the top of the tree in Florida or climbing to get in the shade to read a book in Myrtle Beach, my height never stopped me. I did use a ladder in some instances, though.
12. Don't forget to look around you.
Waking up while it's still dark out is no small feat for a kid, but it's so worth it when you go outside to look up at a clear country sky to watch a meteor shower from the front yard.
13. Know your roots.
There's a special kind of power in a family name. Walking around my hometown and tossing out a simple, "Yes ma'am, I'm Mr. Haselden's great-great-granddaughter/Mrs. Hardwick's great-granddaughter," can do wonders, especially with the right amount of eyelash batting and correct Southern accent.
14. Silence has power too.
My great-great-grandfather was always a quiet man, but when he would open his mouth, the entire room knew that they better listen up because something important was about to be said.
15. Christmas is for family.
Christmas is the time of year where all of the family comes together around the tree. There may have been a few additions since the last year or a few tiffs here and there, but during the week of Christmas, everybody better shut up and eat the ham.
16. How to be a strong woman.
This doesn't mean not needing or wanting a man in your life. It means knowing that if he's not there, you'll be okay. It means going after your future with everything you have and knowing that you can do it. It means taking what the women before you had done and building on it. It means carrying on the legacy of all the strong women that have come before you and making them proud.
17. How to work power tools.
Start young and learn early that you can do anything that needs to be done. Working with power tools may land me in the hospital one day due to my clumsy nature, but I'll be sure to get the job done first. And maybe call Papa next time.
18. Spend time with them now.
You never know when the last time you see someone will be, so always treat it like your last time. Tell them you love them. Listen to that story you've heard seven million times until it hits eight million or beyond. Go get him a cup of coffee. Show up for a visit when they don't expect it. Let them know you got home safely. Just don't take them being here for granted because one day, they won't be.
