Losing a loved one is a devastating experience that the majority of the world suffers through at least once in their lifetime whether the loved one is a family member or friend.
Recently, I have noticed that many people I know have lost loved ones, and March 17th was the two year anniversary of my grandmother's passing (pictured in the cover photo). With that, I wanted to share five ways I persevered through the hardest time in my life.
1. Mourning is normal.
After losing a loved one, whether a grandparent, guardian, sibling, or parent, our basic response is to mourn his or her death. We weep at the thought of their absence, and that's normal. Weeping is our natural response to upsetting situations. Mourning is a natural response to the loss of a loved one.
In fact, weeping and mourning will help release your denial, guilt, frustration, depression, and anger, so that way you can build yourself back into a more positive mindset. Your hurt may remain for months, even a year, but it will, without a doubt, become less difficult. So go ahead and release all your precious tears.
2. Your loved one isn't suffering anymore.
Before my grandmother passed away, I noticed a church sign on the way home from the hospital. The sign read, “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal." For an extremely emotional teenager, that church sign made me an even bigger emotional mess. However, this sign also helped me realize that my grandmother will not suffer anymore.
She will be safe in the hands of God. Whether or not you believe God, always remember your loved one is no longer suffering. Your loved one is in peace now, living without pain and suffering.
3. If you need to be alone, take time to be alone.
Losing a loved one is a difficult experience no matter who you are. It is almost a cycle of hurt. You suffer through denial, anger, guilt, depression, frustration, and eventually, you accept it all. Through all of these emotions, sometimes, you just need time alone, and that's okay.
Sometimes, social interaction is not exactly what you need. You might need time alone to figure out the emotions you are experiencing, and to understand the situation that occurred to you. That's okay. Take time for yourself because mental health is important, and the true people in your life with respect your alone time.
4. If you need to talk to someone, find someone.
Sometimes, talking about what you feel is the best bet in a depressing situation. For the situation of losing a loved one, recalling memories and talking about them can help you realize happiness and allow peace to enter your heart and mind.
I know, for me, talking about my grandmother helped me to smile at the memories rather than continuously crying over her being gone. Trust me, there is someone, whether it be a friend, family member, professor, or therapist, to help you and assure you that your life with be okay. Try to find those people, and ask them if you can talk to them, then let go to them.
5. Time is your friend.
Your pain is valid, and this time you spend mourning is not time that is wasted. You are releasing your emotions. I still struggle with the loss of my grandmother. My heart still hurts when something great happens and she's not here to celebrate with me. But over time, I have healed and accepted the fact that she is gone, yet not forgotten. It doesn't get easier, but you learn and you use your time for valuable reasons.
So, use your time to reveal your emotions and to take care of yourself because you matter, too, and losing a loved one is one of the most heartbreaking experiences ever. Remember, you're a strong individual and you matter. Take care of yourself as you mourn, and use your time to good use.
