Middle school. The word evokes a sense of dread even among the fiercest individuals. For most people, the period of early adolescence between elementary school and high school is among the most awkward years of their lives. Adorned with shiny braces, a constantly changing body, skin problems, a misunderstanding of even the most basic styles and a loose comprehension of personal hygiene, those among the ages of 11 and 14 are ensnared in an immovable cycle of awkwardness.
At the same time, in an attempt to prepare students for the challenges waiting in high school and beyond, most curriculums become more intensive and far stricter than their elementary school counterparts. The mixture of this academic uncertainty and personal awkwardness tends to manifest in the form of extreme insecurity.
In order to regain a level of confidence and control individuals may seek to spread their insecurity by lashing out through bullying or belittling their peers and inner social circle alike. Many people find themselves the butt of brutal jokes from their so-called friends. Although not all individuals are exposed to equal levels of cruelty we are all traumatized by the trials of an awkward phase, nevertheless these years are vital in order to become a fully functional adult.
Early adolescent awkwardness is traumatizing. Many of the scars we develop remain with us during this period remain with us long into adulthood. However it is during this stage that we learn the most about ourselves, our peers, how to be a good friend and our inner strength, some of the most valuable lessons offered throughout childhood.
Our awkward period provides us with an ideal time to develop our tastes. Since everyone is awkward during puberty, there is a far smaller risk in adopting a new look. Moreover, it can take years to learn how to properly dress ourselves, apply eyeliner, figure out which hairstyles don’t make you look like a cast off from Napoleon Dynamite, much less talk to our crush without freezing up entirely. If we’re being totally honest, many of us still struggle from time to time; still, without the trials of our weird stage we would not have gained enough insight to functionally accomplish any of these goals.
For better or worse, adolescence brings with it a loss of naivety. Years of cruelty from bullies, toxic friends and our own insecure inner voice help individuals to gain a more realistic view of the real world. Yes, not all people are going to be nice to you all the time, especially when you’re pimply, socially inept and uncomfortable in your own skin. Yes, you will likely encounter unpleasant individuals in high school, college and in your career. Awkward phases offer a unique insight into these truths, pointing out that these people exist and while offering a basic understanding of how to cope with them. At the very least, it can provide an example of why kindness is important, showing how it feels to be on the receiving end of negativity. This stage inspires a level of empathy. Understanding how it feels to be the recipient of cattiness and social isolation ensures that you will be kinder and more tolerant once you emerge from your unfortunately clad, braces-laden, early adolescent cocoon.
Middle school friends are the worst friends. Don’t get me wrong. I still talk to several of my friends from this period in my life, however, the overwhelming sense of insecurity leads many people to be increasingly self-focused. Moreover, 11 to 14-year-olds often lack a comprehension of social cues, norms, and niceties. Few maintain a proper understanding of how to be a good friend. This time period clarifies these issues, allowing students to develop deeper more meaningful relationships as they move forward. Nevertheless, the friendships you develop during this period are cemented with a level of authentic. You have seen each other at your absolute worst.
There is no need for pretense or decorum in those relationships. You were there for the heartbreaks that came with unrequited crushes, the burden of finding your place in the world and the struggles that come with massive self-consciousness. You’re able to understand one another on a profound level. Plus, if your friends stick with you throughout those unfortunate hormonal years, you can know with certainty that they will stick with you through anything.
At the same time, this period can showcase the traits to avoid in friends. Experiencing a toxic friend first hand can illustrate their behavior, providing a perspective of who to avoid in the future. Having a toxic friend is one of the fastest ways to identify and avoid future behavior.
The sheer number of toxic people during early puberty ensures that most people encounter at least one. Although most people outgrow their toxicity, once their self-confidence improves throughout high school, some never do. Getting to see these individuals first hand can be as invaluable in the future as it is brutal, as it can verify the difference between true friendship and catty drama.
For most individuals, awkward phases inaugurate years of torture. These years test your determination, self-esteem, relationships and academic prowess. We all have horror stories from our preteens and early adolescence. But we survived them. If nothing else, this era prepared you for adulthood by inoculating you against awkwardness and insecurity. No matter what happens, you will never be as self-conscious as you were in middle school. Moreover, you now know that you can overcome this awkwardness. You did it. You graduated. Although middle school may feel like forever ago, the fact remains that you were able to survive three horrible years, regardless of the uncertainty, body changes, braces and pimples that came with it. That is a fact that should be celebrated. If you were able to survive those years, you will be able to survive anything.
