Hi there. My name is Marisa Pribnow. I'm a college student in the middle of nowhere, and in just a few short months I will be venturing out into the real world. Taking the theories I have learned here and inferences I have gathered in a mere, short four years, hoping to make a dent in this big ole world. The four years I have spent on my quaint, Midwest college campus are nothing short of amazing. The people I met, the opportunities I took, and the risks that challenged me have built me into the person I am today. This isn't to say the journey to self discovery is easy or is anywhere close to being completed. Each and every day, I am learning more about what it takes being the best and what it means to give my all.

I was born and raised in a Catholic world, surrounded by people without differences or uniqueness. I was programmed to fit this one specific formula, to think one way and only their way, and grow up living the ordinary life smothered between pews and beneath the pulpit. The words "sin", "Satan", "confession", and "mass" were shoved down my throat before I thought twice. The explanations to my questions consisted of "this is what God wants" and "we are the one true church, what else do you need?".

My preparation for college and for the world built on facts and opinions without religion ultimately failed me. My so-called "faith" and "relationship with God" made me fearful of differences, judgmental of those who embraced their individuality and intellectual freedom, and hateful towards those who abandoned the religious ship. In this environment that was supposed to be loving and accepting, I only learned to spew out prejudice and be spiteful. In my experience, I continue to learn more about living a life of service through volunteering and my education major than the Catholic Church ever taught me. Upon skipping Sunday mass, rarely am I approached out of sincerity or concern about my absence. Quickly people approach me with anger or frustration, shaming me for not wanting to listen to someone at the pulpit exploiting my sins and making me feel less than what God the father supposedly says I am worth. I apologize if I choose to walk away from a way of life that preaches against hypocrisy, but, in fact, may be the very essence of hypocrisy itself.

Perhaps you may claim me to be an angry millennial who desires for rights which are to be granted and not fought for. Perhaps I am a college student swept away by a secular, materialistic society. But perhaps, I am a person seeking for explanations beyond the scripted responses. Perhaps I am searching for the love that God promises in the place that is supposed to be my safe haven and community of brothers and sisters. As Lent is upon us, I am told to give everything I have for the greater good and to lose myself in Christ. However, I only feel like I am losing myself in a church built upon a human tyrant's creed. At the end of the day, who's to say you need the church to be a good-hearted, loving individual? If you can say you gave your best effort and talents to those around you, that's what counts in my book.