The day my cousin came out to me was shocking. Whether it was disbelief or denial - I don't know - I just wasn't sure what was to come next. I had already met his boyfriend and was fond of him. Growing up in a strict Catholic school taught me that this wasn't allowed. I had never liked the idea of gay marriage or being around gay people. I didn't know how to react. Being as close with my cousin as I was, I didn't want to lose him. I realized I had some adjusting to do. Little did I know, these two men would change my entire outlook on love and life.
I've come a long way. Today, I always say that these two are a relationship goal. Yes, I know how odd that sounds. Being a straight woman, it's odd to say a gay couple showed me what love should look like, but it's completely true. Once I decided to give it a chance, I realized I could feel the love between them. It didn't take long for me to change my whole belief system about gay relationships. As soon as I accepted it, I felt much better about myself. Who was I to stand between these two? Who is anyone to stand between them? I became angry hearing about the adversity they faced. It hurt to know that someone had enough hate inside them to attempt to change my cousin or "make him straight." After spending more time with them, I realized they were teaching me so much more than I ever expected. They were teaching me love.
They showed me many different sides of the word 'love'. They taught me acceptance. Acceptance of differences was something I had always struggled with. I didn't know how to interact with people different than myself. It made me uncomfortable. I avoided people who were different from me, and found it hard to see where they were coming from. Now, I am comfortable enough that I can see them kiss without even batting an eye. Without my knowledge, they have shown me how to love people who are different than me. I have learned to appreciate the differences and use them as an opportunity to learn something. The 'difference' I once felt seems non-existent now. They are just another couple to me.
These two taught me love despite all odds. I have seen that love can overcome anything. Coming out wasn't easy for my cousin, but his boyfriend stayed by his side the whole time. When family and friends didn't understand or didn't accept it, his boyfriend was always there for him. Finding work, finding a home, and figuring out school proved to be difficult, but they stood strong. Through family health and personal health struggles, they have been by each others' sides, their love never faltering. Though so many people were against them they stayed deeply in love, leaning on each other for support. Anything that tried to come between them never stood a chance.
The most important lesson these two have taught me is that love is happiness. Before my cousin came out, I knew him as a quiet, mysterious, and sometimes dark individual. I loved him, because this was who my cousin was. When he came out and began being himself, his whole demeanor changed. He was suddenly a talkative, happy jokester. He replaced his black wardrobe with color and his smile was like something I had never seen before. Hiding who he was for so long and being terrified of the backlash had turned him into someone he never wanted to be. Through love, he found immense happiness. Despite all the negativity surrounding him and his life, he has love. Their love is happiness. They are blissfully in love, and I can only aspire to meet someone who makes me as happy as they are.
Our society has ostracized gays for so long that they are sometimes afraid to be who they really are. Looking back, it hurts me to believe I was once one of these people. What hurts more is that people still believe that being gay is something to be hidden or should be cast away. As a whole, we need to realize how much we can learn from these amazing individuals. These people face hardships, criticism, and hatred that many of us couldn't imagine. Yet they are some of the most loving, accepting, and genuine people you will meet. We have so much to learn about life from them. I can't imagine my life without these two men in it. The lessons they have inadvertently taught me are irreplaceable to me. My acceptance of their lifestyle has shown me how to love all people, no matter what makes them different from me. They have shown me that true love will weather all things. Despite all odds, love withstands. I've discovered that love is happiness. To be truly in love is to be truly happy. Even though their relationship is a little different than any relationship I have, I feel that they have shown me what love should look like. They have given me so much more than I could have ever asked for, and for that I can't thank them enough.
