Transitioning to college life can be exciting. It's a chance to reinvent yourself, meet people outside of your boring old zip code, and try new things. Here at UT, there are new friends to be made, organizations to join, and parties to attend. Lots and lots of parties. While our independent and self-sufficient spirits push us to want to do it all, there's just one slight problem: we don't know how to say no.
One [of many] recipes for stress is as follows:
1. In a small bowl, combine 1 cup of "Freedom from restrictive parents" with 1 cup of "Fear of missing out" and a dollop of "I don't know how to say no." Mix thoroughly.
2. Add 3 shots of preferred alcohol with a sprinkle of vanilla. Put in the oven at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until golden brown.
3. Allow to cool. Serve with a side of Netflix and regret.
It's delicious, but you know it's not good for you. College students, especially freshmen, don't know how to say no. At UT, there's a pervasive culture of involvement and competition, which can be a good thing. But like all good things, moderation is key. Fresh out of high school, incoming students are pressured to join an organization or three, find new friends, and let loose at parties every weekend. On top of all of this, they're expected to maintain good grades, explore their interests, and regularly keep in contact with home (and that's assuming they don't have to work).
There's just not enough time in the day, and we make it worse by stretching ourselves too thin. At the start of the year, we're so full of excitement that we say yes to everything, only to find ourselves beyond stressed when we reach that mid-semester slump. What started as a busy schedule quickly becomes an overwhelming to-do list. We half-ass some things, ignore others, and sacrifice our grades and well-being so that we can end the semester with a fleshed-out resume and a feeling of accomplishment.
The underlying problem is that we conflate happiness with success; if you're successful, then you're happy. College students arrive at a new environment with new people and opportunities and are driven by this unhealthy culture to fit as much as possible into each day. This makes the inability to say no an addiction of sorts. We know it's toxic to the mind and body, but we just can't help but indulge.
But there's a solution, and it starts with admitting you have a problem.
Do you find yourself pressed for time more often than not? Do you find yourself sacrificing grades or your own well-being so that you can make time to hang out with friends and participate in organizations? Are you spending your weekends partying instead of getting some TLC and treating yourself? Then this applies to you.
Think of saying yes to everything as a bad habit. Saying no is OK, and it's important that we think of saying no as "I will not" instead of "I cannot." When saying no to committing yourself to another time-consuming activity, you are making the mature decision to limit your time to the things that matter most to you. This allows you to better apply yourself to the task at hand, with time leftover for your own well-being.
There's a popular expression that college students would do well to remember: "Less is more." When we make time for the things we care about most and say no to the things we don't actually have time for, we get more out of our experience at UT.
Say it with me: "No, but thanks." "Nah, I'm good." "No."
