My entire life, I have been self conscious of just about, well, everything. My body, my weight, my hair, my glasses, my freckles, my voice, my laugh, my height. The list goes on and on. There were days when I would stare at myself in the mirror and pick apart every single insecurity until I would cry. My stomach was too big, my legs were too short, my smile was crooked and my teeth were not white. I could never see the good in myself.

My insecurities stemmed, of course, from within, but also from my surroundings. I attend a university where, every time I walk to class, I see twenty girls who look like they just stepped off the Victoria Secret's runway. My Instagram feed was filled with girls who looked like models. Not only were their bodies perfect, but they seemed to have the perfect life. Surrounded by cute boys, gorgeous friends, and adventurous outings. I became envious.

Not only was I picking apart my own insecurities, but I was comparing the worst parts of me to the best parts of others.

I spent so much time convincing myself that I had to look a certain way, dress a certain style, and be a certain weight. My mind had created this crazy idea that I needed to be this picture perfect girl with an Instagram worthy life to ever feel like I belonged. I honestly trained myself to become my own worst enemy.

I told myself that I would never find love, I would never fit in, and I would always be "the ugly one." I didn't believe it when people complimented me; I always thought that they were lying. I had created a monster who hated herself.

There was nobody telling me that I had to live up to these standards that I created for myself. Sure, some boys wouldn't talk to me because I'm not 5'8", weigh 130lbs, and have perfectly groomed bleach blonde hair. And maybe I didn't necessarily fit in with the girls who do look that way, but one day it hit me that it's okay.

It's okay that I don't look like that.

I am me. My body shape comes from eating too many Disneyland Churros, and the lack of time spent at the gym was because I decided to spend my time doing something else I enjoyed. It's okay that I'm not entirely thin, but it's also okay for the girls who are. There is no perfect body type except for the one that you are comfortable in.

Once I realized that what I was doing was detrimental to my happiness, I began to change it. I stopped comparing myself to other girls and started finding the good things in myself. Yes, my laugh is loud but it shows that I am happy. And it's okay that I'm extremely short and that my thighs are a little too big. I took everything that I once hated about me and made myself love it.

And it took a long time to realize this. It took years and months and days of practice. It was not something that changed overnight. But I am so thankful for finally realizing:

There is nothing wrong with who I am.

Who I am is beautiful.