I am a D1 athlete and have been running all my life. I’m proud of my legs and the countless miles that they have carried me on. They have pushed up the rocky mountain trails of Colorado, the rooted paths of Maine, and the paved sidewalks of Connecticut. Running is a huge part of what makes me, well, me. Thank goodness that I can run, too, because my lack of coordination in general does not bring much more than a good attitude and a laugh to my participation in other sports.
Recently, and for the first time in my eighteen years of life, someone took me aside and commented on my weight and body composition. At the time, I was just trying to get away from the conversation, eager to leave the scrutiny and the embarrassment and the increasing panic. Me? Overweight? Fat? I don’t understand…
I could have easily fallen into the trap of looking down on myself and becoming my own harshest critic. And I did—for a few days.
I think runners in general are susceptible to falling into a similar trap of expecting to be a certain body type.The stereotypical distance runners (especially of the female variety) are very lean and toned, often without much extra cushioning. But with hips and a butt, I must be, somehow, breaking some sort of unwritten rule of running because my eight-year running career has been both extremely successful and rewarding.
I think it would be important to point out that I am by no means “fat.” My classmates refer to me as “tiny,” considering that I’m at a healthy weight and stand at a relatively small stature of 5’4”. Regardless, for the first few days after the conversation, I couldn’t help but see all of my flaws in the mirror. I lost my appetite and relied heavily on a few close friends and my parents for support.
Taking a step back, though, I decided to make the most of the criticism. Maybe I was too quick to grab my roommate’s cookies for a snack instead of a healthier handful of almonds. Maybe I could work harder to find better options in the dining hall. Maybe I could start lifting more.
Maybe I could make some changes in my life to feel better for myself—not the eyes of others.
Bottom line is this: no one outside of yourself has the right to tell you how you should or shouldn’t look. I know that I am beautiful and am getting stronger and stronger everyday—inside and out. This wake-up call was not as much something that inspired change due to negativity but something that pushed me to start loving my body and treating it the way it should be treated. It’s strong and capable—and no one can tell me otherwise.
"The views expressed, [in this article] reflect personal opinions of the authors and do not reflect the official policy or position of the United States Naval Academy, the United States Navy, any federal agency, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.”
