I want to preface this article by saying that I am not writing it to mope or feel sorry for myself. This is not an entry in my diary or a plea for sympathy. I am writing this article to show the growth and self-realization I have had and hopefully help others to do the same thing. We live in a world where people are polarized and hesitant to reach out to those who are different from them. It's important to be kind and understanding with others, but it's also important to guard your heart and take care of yourself. It's a balance that I am still struggling with everyday, but I'm constantly striving to find it.

All my life I have been a doormat. I have been the convenient friend that will always have your back no matter how many times you let me down or do me wrong. I forever have high hopes for people and it takes a lot for me to abandon those, so as a result, I stick around long after I stop being treated well. This has been true in my friendships, relationships, and even with just acquaintances. It starts with me offering to help or showing kindness and slowly evolves into something more. Now, I am not saying that every person I have a relationship with takes advantage of me or that it is even their fault. I take some responsibility for all of this because I have remained silent and demonstrated that it is more than ok for others to treat me the ways they have.

Now, though, I have changed. I am not sure what it is or when it happened, but I am different. I still love to help people and will bend over backward to make things more convenient for others, but I am starting to slowly move away from letting others treat me that way. I am starting to be able to say no. I am starting to rid myself of toxic people in my life and this has helped me to love and appreciate my other friendships even more. This is not to say that helping people is wrong or that there will ever be any sort of balance of efforts in relationships because I don't believe either of those things to be true. I also know that there have been times in my life that I have taken advantage of other people or taken them for granted. I know that a majority of the time I won't put myself first, but if I can begin to look at the way I am treated and the way I should be treated and how those two differ, I believe I will be happier. I think that the whole world will be happier if we can all respect ourselves more and those around us. I believe, in my own case especially, allowing others to walk over me comes from a place of low self-confidence and self-respect. The Perks of Being a Wallflower states it perfectly: "We accept the love we think we deserve."

I'm here to tell you that you and I deserve more. I'm determined to make this change and to fill our world with more love. Not just love for those around us, but also love for ourselves - self-love.