To The Parents Who Have Been Living Examples Of What Love Is For 20 Years, Thank You

To The Parents Who Have Been Living Examples Of What Love Is For 20 Years, Thank You

There's something so special and extraordinary about watching two people who are already in love fall more and more for each other as every year goes by.

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My parents just celebrated their 20th anniversary and that suddenly has me feeling so grateful. I've never taken for granted the love I've always witnessed but watching them celebrate such a milestone feels like an extra blessing. It's made it so easy to see what love looks like and what it feels like. It has allowed me to stay patient in pursuit of my own love and it's a constant reminder to keep my standards high.

It's reassuring to have this reminder that forever does exist. Divorce rates are high and people lose faith, but I still have all the faith in the world. I've been a part of a sort of real-life fairytale. My mom met my dad when she was 16, and she swears there was a bit of love at first sight. They got married three years later, and here we are after 20 more years.

I know how perfectly imperfect their relationship has been because I've seen it up close and for the longest. I've seen them push each others' buttons and test each others' patience. They've fought and bickered about major issues, little things, and everything in between.

But then I've also seen them dance in our living room, pick on each other, and go on dates like they're still teenagers. I see my dad's eyes light up when my mom gets even a little dressed up. I share the joy between the two of them every time I get the chance and I constantly take mental notes for my future husband.

There's something so special and extraordinary about watching two people who are already in love fall more and more for each other as every year goes by.

I was sitting on the couch with them and my mom surprised my dad with a playlist of songs that reminded her of them. Her eyes were damp and his smile wide as they hummed "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain. It's a song I grew up hearing around the house, so I always think of them and their love when I hear it. But watching them sit there and just soak it all in, I felt a new, undeniable kind of forever.

My parents are the reason I know deep in my heart that there's a perfect person for everyone. One soul mate, one lasting forever, and one promise.

They're so wholesome and the way they are as a couple is what I pray for. Their marriage and the foundation it was built on is something I've focused on meticulously. They're two individuals who know who they are. They're independent, but together always. There's trust and there's patience.

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I Recently Found Out That A Close Relative Of Mine Could Have Been Aborted

Had they been aborted, I wouldn't be here.

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I stood in my office with the door closed, holding my phone tightly. Staring out the window at the people walking the streets several stories below me, I wondered how many of them had almost been aborted…or survived an abortion…or even knew that one of their parents never wanted them to be born. I thought about my life and everything I had done. I spun through the Rolodex of memories in my brain: the good, the bad, and the ugly. My beautiful childhood memories, specific choices I made and the consequences that followed, the friends I have, the job I love, the family that I miss because I live so far from them. None of it would exist if my relative had never been born. That thought hit me hard.

The person on the other end of the line said to me, "You know you wouldn't be here if they had been aborted." "I know," I responded, "That's a crazy thought." My day started out totally normal until I received the phone call that made my world stop for just one second. Hearing the word "abortion" associated with one of my closest relatives completely personalized the whole abortion debate for me. While the news hit me hard suddenly, I actually didn't think too much about it. I went about my day like nothing had changed.

You'll notice in the title of this article I said: "could have been aborted." What I mean by "could have been" is that my relative wasn't wanted by one of their parents. But God had other plans. My relative was carried to full term, born a healthy baby, and has lived a full and successful life. That's the thing about abortion: Humans think they know what's best, we think we have control, but God has other plans…perfect plans that humans don't have the ability to meddle with.

When I got back to my apartment that night, I thought about the phone call that took place earlier that day. The phone call I wasn't expecting and certainly had no way of foreseeing. It changed my thinking in ways I didn't realize at first. I started appreciating all the little things. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Everything I did seemed special. Every move I made suddenly had purpose and meaning. I think it's because I now knew that all of this would not have been if one of my relative's parents hadn't chosen life. If both of them wanted to get rid of the baby, my relative never would have seen the light of day.

All of this came to a head for me when I attended a pre-screening of Unplanned. Go see that movie. It is well worth your time and money. During one of the abortion scenes, all I could think was: "This could have happened to my relative." But God had other plans; plans that cannot be thwarted because He is God and we are not. He knows what's best and we do not. Receiving the news about my relative wasn't easy to hear or process, but it only reinforced God's goodness in my life.

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My Parents Hate Each Other But They Say They Love All Of Me

I'd like to think they didn't hate half of who I am.

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A child is born with DNA inherited from their father and mother, a mix of both of their parents. So, what happens when your parents divorce and end up hating one another? Do they hate half of who you are?

I am a child of divorce. It was messy and a very hard few years for me to see my parents separate. To have a family, and then suddenly not. What made it harder was to see how much my parents ended up hating each other. To this day, over a decade later they struggle to even be in the same room as one another if something comes up where they have to be.

The complaints about the other make my head and heart hurt.

There's always this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I'm a mixture of my parents. I have qualities and DNA of both of them. Do they hate half of who I am? When they see parts of me that belong to the other do they get annoyed? They claim to love me and who I am, but how do I know that's actually true?

I'm always jealous when I see other kids whose parents are divorced but still either get along or know who to just live with the other. When one says to have fun when they drop them off somewhere else or talk to each other. Mine say nothing to each other. It's as if they want to pretend the other no longer exists.

I don't want to have to choose between the two. If there is an event we all attend I don't want to have to say who I'd prefer to sit with. Nor do I want to hear them talk about how the other is there is what they're doing that the other one doesn't like. I'd like to pretend that for just a little while, I could sit with my family and be happy.

All I want is for them to get along enough to make their children happy.

They're divorced now and remarried. There is barely any time they have to even see each other. Can't they find peace in that? Sit in the same area together and be fine knowing that they are happy with their lives now?

I've learned to generally live and accept how things are. I try my best to ignore it. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though. Especially when one says that I do something like the other. It brings back that fear that they don't like that part of me. I feel like I have to hide part of who I am when I'm with them in hopes that they don't have to think anything bad about me.

I really want to believe that they don't hate half of me.

I'm sorry Mom and Dad. I don't wish to make either of you feel bad. I don't think either of you are bad parents or bad in any way for that matter. I love both of you and everything that makes you, well, you. Even parts that may annoy me, it's still who you are. I just hope that you love me for all of who I am, even the parents you secretly may not like.

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