Five strategies on how to stop being a yes man or woman.
There’s nothing wrong with saying yes if you can learn how to say no to others.
Do you feel guilty saying no when a friend or family member asks you for a favor? Do you tend to make others happy at the expense of your own happiness? If you have responded yes to these questions, then you are a yes man or woman. There is nothing wrong with saying yes, but saying it all the time can take a toll on you. It can add lots of stress to your life and put pressure on you because of your desire to always please everyone. Here are five strategies you can use to learn how to say no, so you can stop being people-pleaser.
1. Remember that you can say no
When someone asks you to do a favor, you are not entitled to say yes. You may feel obligated to say yes depending on the person who asks you, but always remember that you have the option of saying no.
2. Say no with conviction
Sometimes you have to remind yourself why are saying no, but know that you are saying it for good reasons. Do not let someone change your mind after saying no because you have to stand firmly behind your decision. Saying no for the first time may be difficult, but you will eventually put a stop to saying yes all the time.
3. Prioritize
Making a list of your priorities allows you to know when you can say yes or no to someone. One must know their obligations and realize what is important to them, so they can avoid people-pleasing.
4. Do not respond right away
When someone asks you for a favor or wants you to commit to something, tell them that you need time to think about it. Taking this time will give you the opportunity to ask the person details about the favor and to consider if you are willing to help them. However, if the person needs a response right away, tell them no. It is better to tell them no because then you give yourself the option to say yes later if you can commit to helping them.
5. There is no need for an explanation
Sometimes it can be tempting to tell the person your reasons for saying no, so they will understand why you made that decision. However, you should not feel entitled to give them an explanation because sharing this information will give the person a chance to convince you to say yes. Do not give the other person the power to change your mind by making you feel guilty.
Using these five strategies will help deter you from falling back into your habits as a yes man or woman. Personally, I say yes because I do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings when I need to think about my own first. I have learned that being a yes man or woman makes you feel important because you feel good contributing to someone else’s life by always being available to help them.
Although there is nothing wrong with helping those that you care about, neglecting your priorities to make someone else happy is an issue. Realize how valuable your time is and know you cannot commit yourself to too many things at once. It is okay to say yes, but saying it all the time can become overbearing and lead to problems that were once non-existent.
