When I was little I would hate being compared to my older brother, whether it was about how we looked alike or the similarities in our personalities; it irked me to a level of disgust. I hated the fact that having an older brother that would experience things before you would immediately make judgments on your character by the time you got to the same experiences. And I promise you, there was not a single teacher or person who knew my brother that did not point it out the second they discovered our relation. It was the worst in school because teachers just assumed I would clown around and disrupt their lessons because that's what my brother did; that was what made him so likable by his peers. He was funny and charming and while his peers may have loved it, some adults didn't. The constant comparison came to a point that I started denying knowing him, forget about being related to him. However, I was really young and really out of sorts with who I wanted to be as a person that I never really understood what having an older brother meant for me.
We may disagree on almost everything, have two distinctly different personalities, and butt heads like our lives depended on it, but my big brother has shaped more of me than I've ever cared to tell him. As a little sister I always just nagged and hung around to irritate him, or so he thought, but it was really because I was learning from him.
My brother and I have been dealt our fair share of bad hands in life and a lot of them started when I was too young to remember, but he wasn't and a lot of people felt that some of the things that make my brother who he is were defined by those hands. That isn't the case at all here; my brother is who he is because that's who he chooses to be and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
He's always been a little conceited to me, and for the longest time I thought that was vain, but the more I think about it, it's OK for him to be conceited because it means he's happy with himself. I should've taken note sooner that people like confidence even if some might view it as too much. I wasn't so much of my time and missed out on so much happiness because my self-esteem was lower than I care to think about, but had I paid attention to his behavior sooner I would have learned that. Having everybody know you isn't a bad thing because it means that you're approachable and that is something he has always had over me because whether people love him or hate him he is trying and that's all that matters. There has been a lot of doubt in my brother from people who do and people who don't matter, but every time that doubt rises he shatters it into a million pieces by showing those people just how capable, if not more, he is of doing whatever he sets his mind to.
I have a built-in protection system in my brother, whether it be from bullies in grade school or boys in college. I know that if I get crossed the wrong way and don't know how to handle it that he will be there at the drop of a hat if he is aware of the situation.
He knows the quirks of my parents so if need be I can get around them, and that has saved me from horrendous consequence more times than I can count.
He is a strong-willed, dedicated, and ambitious person, but I never gave him credit for that.
I would always try my best to be better than him, but I realize that I can't be because we aren't the same person and due to the fact that we are two different people we are held to two different standards.
While we may not live in the same zip code anymore or talk as much as I would like I know that no matter what he will always be my big brother, and I am sorry for not acknowledging what a fantastic person and role model he has been for me growing up. It is a pleasure to know him, and if you do I'm sure you'd agree, and if you don't I am sorry.
In my 20 years of being his little sister I have learned more than any textbook or website could teach me, and for that I am eternally grateful and can only imagine what lessons he'll bring to me in the future.
