If you’re single, over the age of 18, and don’t live under a rock, you’ve probably checked out Tinder before. And if you’ve tried it out before, you probably have (or have had) a Tinder boyfriend or girlfriend. You know what I’m talking about, that one person who you are constantly texting but have never met. Well, this is a how my tinder boyfriend changed my life.
When I first made my Tinder account, I wasn’t looking for a hook up, fling, or anything else for that matter. My roommate and I made our accounts together only a few month after Tinder was released. We spent our nights trying to get matched, testing pick up lines, messing with boys, and enjoying the superficial compliments that came our way.
Less than a month after downloading the app, the unexpected happened. I matched with this boy who was way out of my league. Since I thought I didn’t stand a chance, I decided to use a dirty joke as an opener. Our two and a half year long Tinder romance began with the words, “What’s the difference between jelly and jam?”
The more we talked, the more I started to believe he was perfect. He was smart, tall, preppy, athletic, and we had a connection that I had never felt with anyone else and haven’t felt since. It was like I was a part of a cyber fairytale.
We spent close to two years trying to meet; we struggled with timing. When I was home, he had an internship abroad. When he came home, I was plagued with mono. When I finally recovered, he was out in California at law school. During those two years, he became my person, my best friend. He was my Tinder boyfriend.
During these years, my friends obviously became aware of my Tinder boyfriend. They constantly tried to convince me I was falling victim to a catfish. I brushed off what they all said because I was crazy about this boy. I mean, when you know, you know -- ya know?
After 22 months of an exclusively cyber relationship, I booked a one way ticket to California. I spent the weeks before my flight incredibly nervous. I was flying across the country for a boy I had never met before. I was nervous he wouldn’t find me attractive, that I wouldn’t find him attractive, that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about, that there wouldn’t be a spark. The second I got in his car and looked in his eyes for the first time, I knew I had wasted my time worrying. Our cyber romance translated flawlessly in real life.
I spent five days in California with him and they were some of the best days of my life. I spent my days laying out in the sun, never paying for a meal, and had the best kiss of my life. He dropped me off at the airport a few days later telling me he wished I could stay, and asked me to come visit for spring break. He kissed me as I got my bag out of his car. When I walked into the airport, no part of me thought that would be our last kiss.
When I got home, I thought our relationship was better than ever. We tried planning to visit each other for spring break, but with exams and conflicting schedules, it didn’t work out. During his finals week, we talked about me visiting in June. He blew it off with a weird attitude that just I attributed to stress.
That was the last conversation we ever had. He never replied to another text, he unfriended me on Facebook, blocked me on Snapchat, completely cut me out of his life. I was given no warning, no explanation. I was, and always will be, heartbroken because of what he did to me.
When I tell people this story, I mostly get, “you should have swiped left on that one.” As much as he hurt me, he changed me for the better. When we matched, I was broken and he fixed me. When we matched, I was shy, heartless, had no self confidence, and believed I wasn’t worthy of love. Somehow, he saw through all of this; he showed me what I looked like through his eyes and he taught me how to love myself. After two years of telling me I was beautiful, I started to believe it myself for the first time in my life. He showed me that I am so much more than I ever believed I could be.
Even though he wasted two and a half years of my life and broke my heart, I’ll never regret that swipe right.
