In the textbook for my Communications in Organizations class, there is an entire chapter dedicated to the skill of listening. This chapter also emphasizes the importance of listening not only in the field of communications, but also in daily life. Additionally, it includes a test on how you perceive yourself and your listening abilities. I found it interesting to learn that I do not think of myself as a strong listener.
After reading the chapter, taking the self-examination, and discussing in class, we had to do a few assignments related to listening skills. This including an assignment that required us to go four hours without talking. This doesn’t sound too terrible, right? You just spend those four hours doing homework, or do it at night when you are most likely alone anyways.
Nope…it's not that easy. The whole point of the exercise was to practice listening to others without responding, so an important part of it was being around people and having them speak to you. It would have been entirely ineffective to perform this task while in solitude. Admittedly, I may not have gone all four hours without speaking. But what I learned from the time I did spend actively listening was invaluable.
By analyzing my own abilities as a listener and applying them during this assignment, I realized that listening is considered a skill in today’s world. So I think it is something that we need to work on and improve, in order for listening to become a norm, not a skill. If you really think about it, a majority of people are listening to respond, instead of listening to understand.
When someone is speaking to you, what is going on in your brain? In most cases, only a small part of your brain is actually listening to them, while most of your brain is formulating a response. When we only partially listen to people, we cannot understand the deeper meaning of what they're saying.
Whenever someone is speaking to you, you are not always required or even expected to respond. Sometimes, people just need you to listen, and they are not seeking advice. I think our generation really struggles to actively listen.
If you think that you are a good listener, I encourage you to set a timer for any amount of time to only listen, not talk. Even making an effort to listen without thinking about speaking is helpful. As much as we would like to believe that we can fully listen while formulating a response, this is simply not true.
