This past Tuesday the GOP candidates gathered in the cheese state and boy, was it a grand ol’ time. The “elite eight” covered a lot of political ground and discussed topics from immigration to the main event, taxes. With the primaries just under four months away, everyone is trying to win brownie points in the polls and avoid media scrutiny, (*cough cough*: Ben Carson). For all you millennial republicans like myself, sometimes it’s hard to keep up and break down all the candidates, geez, they all wear suits and try to squawk over each other, (yes I’m looking at you, Governor Kasich).
At 18-22 years old, we can’t stay glued to CNN every waking hour and we most certainly can’t spend three-and-half hours watching people argue. Happy hour is way more important. Despite that fact, it’s important for us as young republican voters to stay properly informed on topics that will affect the next four to eight years of our lives, (think: taxes, taxes, taxes).
I’m going to break down the remaining GOP candidates along with their favorite subject (taxes) in terms the dot com generation can relate to. Come November 2016, we all have a choice to make and let's face it, it’s hard enough to pick which new series to watch on Netflix, ain’t nobody got time for that.
The Elite Eight of the GOP
1. The lead off hitter for the GOP is Sen. Marco Rubio (FL):
Originally from Miami, Rubio reps his home state as the junior US Senator and has been serving as such since 2011. Rubio has four children which plays well with his tax reform plan. The package comes with a $2,500 child tax credit and the credit is refundable against income and payroll taxes. Basically, if you have a gaggle of kiddos and a sizeable income you’re golden, pony boy. Rubio is all for his pro-family tax plan even though some (think: Rand Paul) spin it as $1 trillion spending program. If Rubio is the Republican nominee, his tax plan parade could see a little rain but he’s sticking to his true blue conservative roots. Mo money, mo problems, maybe.
2. The sacrificial second hitter for the GOP is Sen. Ted Cruz (TX):
Hailing from the Great White North, Cruz is Canadian born but now holds down the fort as the junior US Senator for the great state of Texas. Yeehaw, eh? Cruz has an out-of-the-box tax plan (see: VAT) that could mean a breath of fresh air for businesses. With two ivy league degrees and a fresh agenda of ideas we can see how much intellectual capital Cruz is toting around. On the flip side, so much change in so little time may cause the American people to duck and run but, on the double flip side we all saw how well “change” worked for POTUS. Hmmm... the struggle is real.
3. The three-hole slugger for the GOP is Dr. Ben Carson:
Carson is a pseudo-silent force to be reckoned with. As a retired and accomplished neurosurgeon, he comes off mild-mannered compared to his fellow candidates, but his tax reform plan? No so much. I’ll give it to the doctor, he’s got a pair. He wants to change two pieces of the tax code, mortgage-interest deductions and the tax break for charitable contributions, which would end up saving the US of A some major bucks, (think: 100 billion per year). Shopping trip anyone? These are pieces of the holy grail (aka tax code) and no other GOP candidate has the cojones to even think about changing them. Carson’s bold moves didn’t stop with his tax reform, his closing statement did the dang thing and left the audience wanting more. Way to go, doc.
4. The cleanup hitter for the GOP is Former Gov. Jeb Bush (FL):
With great power comes great responsibility and with a last name like Bush comes great expectations. The Former Governor of Florida comes from a long line of presidents and the question is, will that hinder his chances for the Republican nomination? “Jeb can fix it,” has become the GOP candidate’s slogan and it doesn’t come complete without the Bob The Builder reference. Although Bush was clear and concise in Tuesday night’s debate, he didn’t offer much in-depth information about his tax reform except to say he’s putting it at the top of his priority list. We need a little more than that, baby Bush.
#ThisPsychMajor is still wondering what he orders at Chick-Fil-A. #ImStillALittleBitter.
5. The first RBI man for the GOP is Donald Trump (and his toupee):
As a business tycoon, Trump has an interesting and somewhat aggressive outlook when it comes to politics. With a high energy, no bull attitude Trump made himself heard on several key issues including immigration. Trump’s goal is to make “America great again,” but many call into question his loyalty to the GOP, his political affiliations have gone from Reform in the early 2000’s to Democratic up until 2009. He proves his business background can come in handy when it comes to simplifying the tax code and providing tax breaks for middle class Americans. Although his voice (and toupee) make me cringe, Trump has the charisma to keep himself on top in the polls. Donald you’re not fired, yet.
6. The second RBI woman for the GOP is Carly Fiorina:
Former CEO and strong conservative Carly Fiorina doesn’t let the fact that she’s surrounded by testosterone get to her. She knows her stuff and is arguably the strongest debater on the stage. Her poll numbers haven’t fluctuated after her strong performance on Tuesday night which seems to indicate a lack of strategy. Fiorina wants to take the “Tax Code for Dummies” approach and shorten the decree to make it more “people friendly.” If Fiorina keeps playing her high cards and taking hits like the big boys, her chances of winning the GOP ticket will only go up. Get it, girl.
7. The first defensive hitter for the GOP is Gov. John Kasich (OH):
Appropriately enough, Gov. Kasich was on the defensive all night Tuesday. If I had to take a shot every time he interrupted someone, I’d more than likely be six feet under. The Governor did not skimp on the chance to ruffle his opponents feathers as well as the moderators for more speaking time. Kasich had a comment for just about every question and it didn't go unnoticed.
8. Last but not least, the DH for the GOP is Sen. Rand Paul (KY):
Rand finally spent some time in the spotlight on Tuesday. The Texas Native turned Kentucky Senator made his liberal-leaning points clear and had a somewhat lengthy spat with Marco Rubio, who just happens to be surging in the polls of late. We see what you did there Paul, sneaky sneaky. All in all, Paul had a fine debate but if he wants to be in the oval in 2016 he’s going to need a lot more than fine. We believe in you and your two first names, Rand.
The primaries will be here before we know it and there are decisions to be made. Who has the best electoral energy? Who is the frontrunner and who is the underdog? What kind of president does our country need? I guess we’ll find out soon enough but until then stay tuned and stay informed, y’all.
