Had you asked me two years ago, I never would have pictured myself in a long distance relationship, especially during college. But then again, I didn't think I would meet a guy worth doing long distance with, either. And now, having been apart for nearly ten months, here are a few things I’ve learned from my long distance relationship:
1. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.
I know it doesn't get more cliché than that, but it really does make you appreciate every single second you are able to spend together. With reunions come rushes of excitement and overly ambitious weekend plans to make up for a month's worth of dates. What you lose in quantity, you make up for in quality. You can splurge on more expensive dinners or take a day trip somewhere, as opposed to deciding what to watch on Netflix for the third night in a row.
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2. He’s still your go-to person for everything.
Just because you're on different paths, leading separate lives in different schools, cities, and states, doesn't change the fact that he’s still your person. He’s the first person you call when you get exciting news, but also when you just miserably failed a test or feel like your world is falling apart. Being there for each other and supporting each other is such an important part of a relationship, especially during the stressful rollercoaster that is college.
3. You don't have to be talking to each other all the time.
You will be busy. You will have tests to study for, research papers to write, classes to attend, extracurricular commitments, plans with friends. The list goes on and on. Setting aside time for a phone call or FaceTime every once in a while is a much more personal way of connecting than constant texting to keep tabs on every little detail.
4. Find new ways to connect.
There’s only so much you can tell each other about your day, schoolwork, and friends. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, awkward silences are still bound to happen. Getting too deep into a routine can get kind of annoying as well. I’ve found that a great way to stay connected is by having something you constantly do together. It can be anything from watching a show or movies together on Netflix to discovering and sharing new music with each other, or even playing an iPhone game together. Since you can’t hang out or go on cute dates, it gives your relationship an added dimension and something extra to bond over.
5. If something is bothering you, express it.
Anyone and everyone knows that communication is key to a healthy relationship. However, it’s way easier said than done, and it took me a while to realize how to actively communicate my feelings rather than hold things in. With distance, it’s harder to gauge how the other person is feeling, and you can’t expect your boyfriend to know what’s going through your mind. Maybe you're just having a rough week and are in need of a little extra affection, but whatever it is, it's always better to talk about it.
6. It’s actually kind of a test.
If you and your significant other can make long distance work, I really believe you can get through anything. It’s definitely not easy, but if you can both approach it with a positive mindset and a heck of a lot of trust, then it’s something worth holding on to.
7. Don’t let your relationship hold you back.
I had many people try to discourage me from going into college in a long distance relationship because they thought it would limit me from getting the full college experience. College is a time of self-discovery and new experiences, and while I can see where they were coming from, being in a long distance relationship has in no way deprived me of that. With that, the best advice I can offer is not to spend your entire day in your room on Skype. Branch out, meet people, hang out with your friends, go to that party, and do everything you can to make the most out of your four years. Ultimately, what matters is that you’re happy, and, while distance totally sucks, love definitely doesn’t.
